Dealing with anger

[sheberene]

I spanked partner on the butt with a spoon whilst cooking lunch today. He completely exploded in anger, held his fist to my face, but didn't hit me, and said he wanted to 'beat me black and blue'. He then walked out to go to work and hasn't returned - normally he'd be back at 7pm. This all happened in front of our 2 year old and 6 month old baby.
I only meant to tap him in mild frustration - both kids were crying and he was getting on to me about not tidying up the garden and putting the pans on the wrong part of the hob.
He has never been violent towards me, but does swear at me a lot when he gets angry, and I've never hit him at all before. Any advice on what to do, I feel really mixed up ? Thanks.

Sounds horrendous for you. Doubtless he was wound up by the ch crying too. He sounds a bit of a control freak, can't handle eg. untidy garden (in mh case untidy house!). Suggest you allow him to cool off, and get some help with the ch if you need it. When he comes back, apologise for hitting him, and then when he's calm (tomorrow) tell him you'd like him to stop swearing, please, and you were not happy about the threat. He must control himself, especially in front of the ch, and count to ten/leave the room - we all have to sometimes. The secret is - keep talking. Best of luck

Thanks, that makes sense, I'll try to get him to talk tomorrow. Just a bit scared of him coming home tonight which is a horrible feeling in my own home...

How's it going? I told bf and she said you should change the locks... bit drastic, but I don't like the idea of you being scared of him. What's he like? Have you had rows like this before?