Are you a "loyal" partner and what does that mean to you?

[Pruhoohooohoooooni]

I don't think I am, really. If dh is behaving like a twat, I tell him. If I thought he'd been an arse, I would deal with that head on (I like to think).
Had a friend a few years ago whose husband arsed up his career and lied, a lot. DH worked with him and knew the ins and outs and more besides. People tried to tell her the facts so that she could help him, as he was getting himself in deeper with his lies, but her reaction was to profess undying loyalty and pronounce that it was all a vendetta.
At the time I thought that wasn't loyalty since arguably she was making things worse for him. TBH I don't have a clear idea though - loyalty doesn't exist in our family so not part of my fabric iyswim.

To me, loyalty means honesty and trust. And denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

Head in the sand business and loyalty are not very good bed fellows.

Telling him he's being a twat when he is, is pretty loyal. I guess it depends on how you choose to define loyalty, but not telling him he's being a twat when he is, could just be blind devotion or stupidity...

I agree with sleepfinder. A loyal partner tells her dh but no-one else (apart from maybe Mumsnet ) when he is being an idiot. It is the job of the more clued-up half of the partnership to help the less able get a grip on life's little trials.
Loyalty in my case meant frog-marching dh to the doctor's a few years ago when his depression reached worrying clinical proportions
Someone close to me, faced with a similiar situation, ended a long-term, previously very happy relationship and threw the partner out of the shared home. I had a lot of sympathy but couldn't help feeling that was disloyal.

ahaahahahaha i LOVE that expat 'denial isn't just a river in egypt'. wonderful!

yup - i'm with you on that. loyalty is honesty and trust. but also being there. doesn't mean you have to stand by someone who is on the path to ruin, i think it means doing for that person what is best for them.

Loyalty is being able to say what you like about your partner but decking anyone else who dares to say the same thing. It might be foolish to want to defend him against all attacks but doesn't make it disloyal.

hmmmmmmm....loyal? yeah I think so. I'd defend DH against anyone on pretty much any subject even if I thought he was wrong
(then tell him he's a prat when we're alone), I'd never cheat on him, I'd support him all I could if he decides to do anything like new career etc, and always be there to listen to him whining on and on and on - before telling him to shut his trap and grow up fgs!!

loyalty is....

calling your dp a twat

but beating up anyone else who did.

spot on custy!

I was just about to post but realised that Custy has beat me to it, almost word for word.

great minds eh?!

always new thomcat and i were geniui i mean genei, i mean genusi, erm...ded brainy

Yeah, wot she said

OK, yes, I do those things - except that tbh if dh had done something really really bad/stupid, I'm afraid I'd have to say in public, "Yes, he has been an idiot and we are dealing with it" rather than "There is a vendetta against him and my place is to be an unconditionally supportive wife therefore anything negative that is said about him must be wrong."
In the case I'm thinking of, it got so embarrassing that the couple ended up being shunned, whereas if she'd just said, "I am so sad that he's been a twat, but hey ho, we're married, so we will make the best of it" - much more realistic imo??