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Original poster

Wedding dress - what should I do with it?

31 replies

mypurplelife · 28/10/2014 19:27

I've been separated 18 months and divorced for 6 and DD and I have just moved in to our own place. All my stuff has been in storage and I've finally got round to clearing it all out and sorting what I wanted to keep and what I want to get rid of.

The last thing in there was my wedding dress and I've no idea what to do with it. I can't store it here as we have very little storage and it's in a huge box but it just feels so wrong to dump it. It was hand made for me over 10 years ago so selling it on isn't really an option. It has sentimental value in so much that it was bought for me by my parents as a gift which also leaves me in two minds about what to do with it.

So my question is what did you do with your wedding dress after divorce? Ooh and what about the wedding album and engagement ring and wedding ring???!!

OP posts:
ChickOnAMission · 28/10/2014 19:35

keep it! for your dd, I've still got mine, a bit buried in the bottom of my wardrobe, I don't look after it like I probably should for such an expensive dress. Worst case it'll be a fantastic dressing up dress! Can't you just vacumn pack it into a smaller bag? No need to keep ot pristine but if you cant store it in the big box...

Wedding video and album are still in my bookcase. Collecting dust, but I couldn't trash them...

wedding ring is in the porn shop!

ChickOnAMission · 28/10/2014 19:36

oh god!! PAWN shop! Shock

Original poster
mypurplelife · 28/10/2014 19:45

Thanks chick, yes I have some of those bags, I could do that and it would take up a lot less room.

I went to see how much my rings would be but they weren't worth very much and I know what was paid for them. I figured its stash them in my draw for now and maybe if I'm really hard up one day I'll cash them in!!

Wedding album is in a box with other photos, I'll keep that for now too. The video I threw as I don't have a video player and also my dad made the worst speech ever and I've never been able to watch it anyway!

OP posts:
FelicityGubbins · 28/10/2014 20:29

I doubt that your DD would ever want to wear your dress herself, but could you buy a gorgeous teddy bear and have a mini wedding dress made out of your dress for the bear? that way its something to hand down to her (and her DD if she has one) and solves the problem of trying to store it?
You could also get one of those wedding handbag thingys made for your DD as her "something old" for if she ever gets married.

SweetErmengarde · 28/10/2014 20:41

You could get DD to help you make a "trash the dress" video?

I would find it cathartic after a split and a good way of drawing a line under the marriage but then I am a bitch.

ChickOnAMission · 28/10/2014 20:44

How old is your DD? My mum had a wedding dress when I was a kid, it wasn't actually hers but I did love dressing up in it. I doubt my daughter will wear mine as a weding dress, I know she won't, it's got sweat stains and stains from when we went in the sea after, BUT she does like looking at it, if you can't bring yourself to sell it, there's no point throwing it away, I am not on especially good terms with my ex at the moment and I definitely have no sentimetal feelings about the day, but my DD has a BIG thing about us as a married happy family, wedding photos in her room etc... (urgh)

I wish I had something from my mums marriage to my dad. If you can find a way of keeping it I would...

Unless you really hate him, then bonfire night is coming up!? ;-)

UpNorthAgain · 28/10/2014 21:52

You don't have to do anything with the dress until you feel ready. Be kind to yourself; you've had a lot of upheaval in the last few years. For me, taking my wedding ring off was a huge step & I thought all of my work colleagues would notice immediately, but of course nobody did. I too had wedding & engagement rings valued and have put them away in case a rainy day arrives.

isseywithcats · 28/10/2014 22:00

mine sat in the wardrobe for the last 3 years since i split with ex somehow couldnt part with it as it was a georgous dress, but recently my grandaughter had a dress as a queen at school day and being as she is tall i gave her my wedding dress to wear all her other nan had to do was shorten it (she added some lace to the hem) i got her a cheap glitzy tiara set to go with it so my dress is now gone and funnily enough i was happier giving my grandaughter one happy day of dressing up in it than giving it to charity shop or keeping it

PlantsAndFlowers · 28/10/2014 22:01

Gave mine to a charity shop.

SleepRegression · 28/10/2014 22:02

I gave mine to Oxfam, it was bitter sweet, felt so emotional giving it away but good to feel that someone else would have a great day wearing it

SweetErmengarde · 28/10/2014 22:10

Oh, and about your jewellery, have you considered having the stones reset as earrings or a pendant?

I obviously haven't seen your rinds so only you knowif this is feasible,but it would make for some nice symbolism (forging something new and lovely from the dissolution of your marriage) and you could always pass it on to your DD, free of any negative connotations.

SweetErmengarde · 28/10/2014 22:11

Rinds? Rings of course!

Typing in the dark again....

Fragglewump · 28/10/2014 22:15

Mine is in my exh's loft. Not sure how his new wife feels about that but I think he's keeping it for our dd.

SweetErmengarde · 28/10/2014 22:19

Fragglewump that is awesome!

I hope it's on one of those headless tailor's mannequins so that it can loom palely from the shadows whenever they go up there.....

Sorry, just getting into the Halloween spirit Halloween Smile !

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep · 28/10/2014 22:31

I ended up binning mine. But I hadn't looked after it so it was stained snd by the time I got rid of it (4 years after separation), it held no sentimental value for me at all. And my DC are boys, so they'd have no interest in it.

My wedding pics are at my mum's house. When we separated things got a bit ugly and XH was asking for the album. I told him I had taken it to the tip. I hadn't, and now we are on really good terms. He's a reLly good friend to me. He was devastated about the pics, but I don't know how to turn around and say 'actually, the pics still exist... I lied!' It would really affect his trust in me. I don't know what to do!Sad

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep · 28/10/2014 22:32

Told him I'd binned the DVD too. Oh god. Sad

Alchemist · 28/10/2014 22:38

I'm sorry but haven't read all replies as am a bit pissed.

a couple of weeks ago I had my first autumny bonfire. Was lovely and mellow but needed a certain something to complete the scene. So I hoyed my dress on there and, although it took seconds, it was a bit phoenix rising from the ashes. The date of our split is 31/10/13. I thought my world ended. However, I am having a party 31/10/14 and I do know this year will be so much better.

All the best OP.

Original poster
mypurplelife · 29/10/2014 00:02

Thanks for all the suggestions and stories of what you've done with your own dresses. In the back of my mind I'm thinking it's just a dress and from a marriage which didn't work, but in truth I'm just not ready to part with it yet - and not for reasons of wanting to get back together or the likes I'm just not ready.

I don't actually think I've shown it to my DD but I think I will then I going to take it to my parents house and put it in the back of their loft and forget about it for now Smile

I'd rather keep my rings as they are and if DD wants them she can and if not then who knows but for now they are doing no harm I my draw so that's where they will stay.

To the person who posted about telling exH you'd thrown the photos and video away (sorry I didn't get your username) I'd tell the truth, we all say and do things to hurt the other person especially when we are hurting.

OP posts:
Original poster
mypurplelife · 29/10/2014 00:07

Alchemist - eeeekkkk, not sure I could burn it but good on you for doing something with it that made you feel better. I remember that feeling of wanting to get through the first year. My split was the day before my birthday and the following year I was on a hen do which I was apprehensive about going on but had an amazing time and an even better birthday the day after!

OP posts:
Dowser · 29/10/2014 00:11

I would sell it and buy a nice piece of jewellery. A much more fitting memento don't you think?

dangerrabbit · 29/10/2014 08:51

How about selling it on eBay? Maybe you could make some money from it?

GoatsDoRoam · 29/10/2014 09:01

I just binned mine. Expedient solution.

InThisTogether · 29/10/2014 10:51

I was reading some blogs on this the other day, I googled '25 things to do with a wedding dress' or similar, here are a few...
www.huffingtonpost.com/danielle-tate/10-creative-things-to-do-_b_5194277.html

andreadekker.com/10-ways-to-repurpose-a-wedding-dress/

Enidblytonrules · 29/10/2014 11:05

I sent mine to Africa. There was a local advert for wedding/bridesmaid dresses to be sent to Africa to enable a group of young women to set up a bridal hire shop. White weddings are big in Africa but many people cannot afford to buy dresses so it enabled brides to hire stuff cheaply. Felt my bridal dress plus 2 bridemaids dresses would be used again and again rather than being stuck in storage.

postmanpatscat · 29/10/2014 11:13

wedding album - I left it behind when I moved out
dress - charity shop
rings - cash for gold

wish it was as easy to dispose of the exH frankly