My DH of 20 years has been searching on Facebook for someone he ‘cheated’ with before we were married. He met her on a lads holiday but they also met in secret afterwards. When I found out he swore it was just friends. I was heartbroken but we were quite young and I naively believed him. In the years since he has said he regrets things that happened and has continually beaten himself up about the past, but has never actually admitted what went on.
He always deletes the history every time he uses the iPad, but I discovered his searches when he left FB logged on, although I don’t think he’s actually found her. He’s a manual worker and not very good with IT so I doubt he’s got secret email or chat accounts.
He has security and honesty issues and finds it difficult to be open with me. He has lied to me over damaging the car, spending money, even cooking dinner. He’s so convincing, He had a tough childhood so being insecure is not necessarily his fault.
I know in my heart he cheated but was too blind to see it at the time. I feel angry and upset that the choice of whether to marry a cheat was taken away. We have 2 DD, both of which I was heavily pressured into having by him.
I know I’m no saint, but I can see no reason for searching for someone that meant nothing to him many years ago. Do I confront him, if so how?