An update....

[officeworker]

Hi guys, I wanted to write an update to my previous thread on here, about the break up and basically trying to make sense of it all again!

So, I'm finally feeling better. I do still get sick and can't eat loads of food without wanting to throw up but it's getting there! Since last Friday when I posted a few things have happened.

-He's still in our house. My sisters hen party was from Friday until today which was all planned. So he text Friday afternoon asking if I'd handed the notice in, which I haven't done yet as I've been so busy (will tomorrow). He said this weekend he'd be starting to pack things up ready to move out, he's done nothing. He's been playing sport and at his family home all weekend. If he wants to leave me, why not just leave the house and go home like he threatens to do every day, yet I haven't seen any action.

-He pretty much ruined the hen weekend for me. I got drunk and inevitably drunk dialled and he was lovely with me, saying he still loves me but it's not the same, and isn't over us. But that this is all for the best. Saturday night when he knew I was out he deleted me from Facebook and Twitter. Me drunk again called him and he said 'I don't want to see pictures of you getting over me on Facebook' and I feel better for deleting you! The picture I posted was of my sister giving me a piggyback making cocktails in a lesson in a bar! How is that even getting over someone?!

-Got home late afternoon, he's out and obviously not packed. I went to play the sport we play together not really expecting him to be there. He walked in, was nice as anything to me infront of people and then as soon as they had gone he ignored me. Told me he's going now as he's going out, I asked where and he said 'just out'. He'll be at a friends but probably getting pleasure from him thinking he's making me hang on.

I felt like a right idiot on Saturday night, I was so upset by his actions, ignoring me, deleting me, yet won't leave move out of the house and we ended up going back to the cottage early as I felt upset. So now I'm going to move out before him, I just don't get what his motive is by not going this weekend like he said he would!!

Ok. Don't know the back story. So are you finished with this relationship or not?

Blimey, lots of drama going on here. "Inevitable drunk dialling"? It all sounds as though you're both still very wrapped up in what the other is doing and thinking.

It's obviously not convenient for him to leave yet. He might want to drag it out to make you suffer but, from what you've written, it sounds much more like he's not quite ready to go so he's taking his time. You may have to force the pace rather than let him run the show

The relationship is finished yes!

Cogito - He had told me on Friday night he's packing his stuff this weekend and should be moved out by the start of the week. I've came in and he's not touched a thing in the house or packed anything despite saying that's his plan. I'm going before him by the look of it, I've got everything ready to go during the week this week once I'm feeling better!

If you're also leaving, why does it matter when he goes?

I'm not the one who wanted the relationship to end, and I feel stuck in an awful predicament. If I leave before him I'll be wondering what if he was about to change his mind, or come home after work one day and he's gone and be left heartbroken. I can't seem to win, I never wanted any of this and I'm certainly not over anything.

Oh OP, there's never only two options.

And so it gets even more confusing!

Yesterday was the day he said he was moving out because he has time. Cue before me leaving for work a very emotional time, we both cried, cuddled, kissed a lot and it was the most horrible thing leaving him in that house that morning knowing I would probably not see him again.

I'd text a fair few times asking him to stay and saying we could resolve it, each time met with a firm no and that he's moving today and that's the end of it. At 3.30 (and after me spending the day at work verging on tears) I get a text saying 'well I'm staying here until the lease is up there's no point wasting money' and said if I want to stay I can but it won't change his mind.

Came home last night literally everything was packed and it's as if when it came down to it he just couldn't leave. My head is so messed up as to why he hasn't left but he's just going to say money. When that didn't bother him for the past two weeks!

You've either got to take this out of his hands, put the stuff outside the door and push him out after it or you have to go yourself. You're currently sat around wondering about his motivation, waiting for him to give the yay or nay on your whole life.....headfuckery..... and that's not tolerable. I realise that you're desperate for any sign of affection but it's incredibly demeaning. You'll regret doing nothing.

Take control

You need to leave & quit giving him headspace, it really is that simple.

Even if he agreed to give it another go the relationship would be massively unequal, this isn't good or healthy.

Walk away from the drama & block contact-you no longer need his number or the bullshit FB will from now on present you with.

You will get over him though I appreciate that's not how it feels right now.