Too feel uncomfortable around my own family

[caughtupinthismoment]

Lately I generally don't feel welcome around my family and I feel more like and aquaintance.
My Mother would never admit it but I know that she favours my Older Sister and my nephew over me and my Daughter.
I can deal with it I always have done but as my daughter is getting older she is starting to notice and its not fair.
For instance:
If we go out shopping my nephew normally kicks up a fuss because he doesn't like to sit in the trolley so they let him get out to walk and this makes my dd want to be out because her cousin is,but then when I get her out they moan that I shouldn't let her run around the shops .
My dd is older than my nephew so she always gets the blame, if she goes near him the assume thats she is going to push him over or something so they scream for dd to get away,my nephew has got issues with sharing toys and if my DD has any of his toys and he wants to play with it he gets it back. But if my nephew has my Dd toys and she goes to take it they shout yet again and so Dn is playing with that share and don't be spiteful. They never tell my nephew off and he jumps on my Dd sometimes and pulls at her legs and they just laugh it off.
I'm a single parent and my sister lives with Dn and her partner so plenty of help.But my mother is always looking after my nephew and having him for sleepovers because they always tend to have nights out or go to the cinema and for a meal. My DD is older and the only time she sleeps at my mothers is if I sleep aswell. I don't have nights out unless on a rare occasion.
My mother is constantly telling me how to raise my daughter saying she should be potty trained by now. She should be talking in proper sentences, the list goes on, she is two year old.
Whenever they come to my house they just sit down and let me run around after them,they don't really know when to leave and if it end up tp be quite late or past a time they wanted to stay they end up kicking off with me and blaming me saying I'm always at yours you never let me have time to myself .

I think this is nature's way of telling you that you need to move to a different town/county/nation.... :) Seriously, you're obviously spending way too much time with your family. Little things are bound to get on your nerves when you're living in each other's pockets. Do you work? Have friends? Interests or hobbies? Suggest refocusing your life so that you're more around people you like and doing things that you like. Fill your diary so that you can't always fit them into your busy schedule. Make it less easy for them to pop round and camp out.

Relegate your family to 'small doses'... then they'll probably be quite bearable. Or move to a different location.

Shopping - easy go at another time without them.
Childcare - I dont think i would want them to look after my daughter with that attitude.
Keep DD away from DN and keep toys seperate. If he hurts her you can reproach him and his carer.
Stand your ground with mother's interference: "yes but I am very happy with her progress and so is the health visitor, Gp practice nurse or whatever."
I have always found "I'll make us a nice cup of tea before you go" gets stay-too-longs moving. Get their coats and open the front door next.
Discourage so many visits. And tell them if they moan "Well I didnt lock you in - you could have gone home at 9:30 or whenever"
I think they are treating you like the child you were and you need to show you are now adult by calm assertive behaviour which expresses your needs.

Definitely start crafting your own life in another direction!

Stop spending so much time with them. Widen your circle of friends, take up a hobby, find new interests. If your DM wants to play favourites reduce the amount of time she spends with your DC. You can only be put down by people if you allow them to demean you in this way. Stand up for yourself by putting some distance between you.

Thanks for the advice, I do need to distance me and DD and see them less often it is stressfull and they do treat us different. I have stood up to them plenty of times but it goes on deaf ears or they make sarcastic comments such your jealous arent you?

If you make a point of never comparing how they treat Dsis/DN & how they treat you, they have no grounds to sneer about jealousy- the examples you've given can be managed without any mention of 'you always/you never'. Channel your inner ice queen, smile benignly and rise above it all! ( as well as cutting down a bit on contact too - opt to do things by yourself/with friends, rather than with family, etc.)

If you are at your DM's house & she criticises your child just leave. You don't have to create a drama just a cheery "time to go" will do. Do this every single time, eventually she will get the message.

Don't go shopping with your DSis & DM & then the running around the store scenario won't happen.

You need to be smart about this OP, you can still have contact with them but under your own terms. Some families seem to like scapegoats & favourites but if you refuse to play the game you will leave them looking foolish & unreasonable.