How did u find out about OW

[blondebaby111]

Suspected dh for a while but no actual proof, just feel like I'm going round in circles. He says he isn't but then I don't know many men that would hold their hands up
And say 'yes I am' I'm at times a paranoid miserable wreak as I'm not sure so i just wondered, for those who's man did the dirty how did u find out???

In my case, a colleague of my mother's told her she'd been to the housewarming party of my ex - except he wasn't my ex, he was my DP. We'd been together 3 years, living together for 2. He'd been with OW for 2 years. She was in the dark like me.

Op it does sound like he has something yo hide. Second trying to access his phone.

There is somethign going on here, OP

Whether it is OW, gambling, paying for prostitutes, debt, an addiction to fancy cars or whatever your relationship is being damaged by him

Decide whether you want to live like this, and act accordingly

She knocked on the door late one night, because he'd told her he was single and working away, but she'd spotted his car.
As I had no idea I was in shock.

If you aren't happy, it really doesn't matter if there is an OW or not, just tell him to leave. I know that you want to know because if you can 'peg' it on something it's easier, but at the end of the day, you don't have to have A Reason That You Can Prove.

I'm sorry it's turned out like this for you.

If I were you I'd try to see a solicitor asap.

OMG *Marci .

Was he at home? What happened?

There was one time that ex was getting ready to go out and all of sudden sat down and was just faffing around making inane conversation with me. I was because he usually couldn't wait to get out the door. I found out later that a girl he was trying to start something with was outside chatting to our neighbour. Unbeknownst to him they were friends. I remembered so clearly thinking what's he playing at? and months later it slotted into place.

Hi chipping no PM as yet

I found thousands of texts on his email and Facebook messages

Stupid as this sounds, I honestly thought for a second that someone had hacked his accounts and pretended to be him - that's how much I couldn't believe it of him

I found messages on his phone, he thought he had deleted them but they went into saved and draft instead.

She let slip! She was my best friend, had been going on for months behind my back.
He blurted out during a drunken stupor "I'm shagging your best mate"
Best mate rings the next day, asks how I am "oh I'm fine, have you heard the latest, he's been shagging you for months!" I didn't believe him at all, why would I, she was my best friend.
Her reply "pah, it's not been months"
I put the phone down and never spoke to her EVER again.

I just knew ... Three times I just knew but I ignored my intuition, it's rarely wrong though

You might not have all the details of what he is up to, but he is not treating you with any respect at all. You don't have to stay with him just because you can't find evidence of an ow.

A man phoned and said my husband was shagging his girlfriend.

I got a text meant for her.

NickiFury, he had rushed out a few moments before to intercept her, because she said she was on her way. He'd said he'd left something in the car so I didn't know why he'd rushed out.
Anyway, he'd tried to stop her on the path, she'd hit him and come to the door anyway.
He'd run off to hide.
She came in and stayed for hours, fussing my dog and making herself tea. I just sat there.

Eventually she gave up waiting for him to come out of hiding and went home. He sneaked back in the small hours.

Her husband (his friend) told me, showed me photos of their cars parked together in hotel carparks, on days "the Americans kept him late at work because of time difference', he denied, I believed him, but walked in on them both in our home together one Friday evening....will take that image to my grave with me

walkingthedogs

The OW very helpfully sent me a FB message. Which was nice!

OP it sounds pretty dodgy. I would stop the confrontations for now. They only make him angry and step up his security.

My STBXH denied it for over 2 months but nothing else seemed to fit with his sudden strange behaviour towards me.

I found a 5 year diary, he'd bought one for OW too. It was their 5 year plan to be together as he knew if I didn't agree to a divorce, then that's how long he'd have to wait. They thought it was romantic - I vomited reading it.

Marcipex

Making herself tea!

Oh my what a farce!

Back when I first got together with my DH I was very insecure. He didn't go on the attack or go all secretive, he was very open, caring and sensitive to try to reassure me. He didn't like the thought I was hurting and that was more important to him than the indignation or hurt he must have felt that he was innocent yet I couldn't trust...yet.

In my parent's case, Mother found a credit card receipt for flowers - that were not delivered to her. Once we knew that, a lot of other things made sense.

Constantly accusing me of cheating when I was working away. I was eventually told by a friend of his who saw me disintegrate into a nervous, stressed wreck with the relentless accusations. Turns out he was shagging the local bike when I was away. Oh the irony.

I also received a text meant for her. Believed his excuses, then his Internet went down and I thought I would leave him a nice message on his wall. She beat me to it.

Found a secret email account with over two years worth of contact, meetings, holidays (he'd told me he was away for work), discussion about me and our children and diamond jewellery he'd bought her! I vomited when I read it.

First LTR, he just told me. He has another child who is 4 months younger than our son. I've not heard from him in since son was a newborn.

Second LTR/marriage, found online account details for a NS Sex website and kicked him out. He admitted affair in a conversation a couple of weeks later.

Only bf since then, didn't admit and denied vehemently. But I forgave something that was somewhat ambiguous and then there were a couple of other things that I felt were pretty conclusive. I didn't even ask him about it, I just ended it.

Having also been propositioned for affairs by a number of MMM I have no faith left in men at all.

I had my suspicions, ds had been distant, never put his phone down.

There was one person I had particular suspicions about, when I realised her fb was set to public I thought it was Christmas. I was trawling through her posts when one stood out, she'd tagged herself in at an arena, to see a band on the EXACT same night as dp saw them, dp told me he was going with someone at work but they'd let him down (we couldn't go together due to lack of a babysitter), told me someone was just hanging about outside the arena and he managed to sell the other ticket to that person...

Once I found this fb post, I realised that I'd emptied dp jean pockets earlier that week to wash them, with I presumed was his ticket stub which I'd thrown in our upstairs bin, I retrieved them and of course there were two ticket stubs, which put paid to the fact he'd sold the ticket to someone lurking outside the gig!

I asked him if he'd seen this woman at the venue, the bar areas are quite small so you usually see someone you know milling about before hand. Nope he hadn't seen her, I mentioned her fb post (at this point all of my worries about anyone finding out I was fb stalking had gone out of the window) and I also wondered why (as at that time he was always on fb) he hadn't commented on the fact that they'd both been to see the same band, on the same night, at the same place. He denied EVERYTHING. He said he walked into the venue with the person he sold the ticket to and kept the stub. He denied denied denied.

I thought I was going insane, I KNEW something was amiss.

It all came to ahead the following February. It all caught up with him, all the lies etc, he only then told me everything, oh and of course he had been to the gig with this woman! In fact he'd met her and two other women during the previous year (that's a whole other story), he'd been a busy boy! She was also saved under a mans name on his phone along with two other women.

I think if you're instincts are screaming at you that something isn't right, you're usually spot on.

Sorry for the ramble.