how can I mark a year that I left an abusive relationship?

[everforever]

Hi

Some may remember. In December I made a big post about leaving an abusive relationship.

Well I'm still free. Its been nearly 11 months me and my DDS have been free. We are not in our own house yet but will be after Christmas. We are growing in strength my confidence is growing by the day.

This time a year ago I was so low and ready to leave. I just needed the time to do it.

So its nearly a year later.

So how can I mark a year anniversary? Of being free from domestic abuse?

I have grown so much
So had DDS
They are happy and settled in nursery and school. We have had loads of obstacles in place but I have over come then

I marked it for the first few years too. I used to do something just so that I would remember the day. I went to a gallery the first year. To the zoo with kids the second year. Actually, I realised that I missed the 8th anniversary of leaving, which was kind of nice too. I had stopped needing to mark it because I had my new normal.

They sound like good ideas.

I have done so much with DDS. I even realised a few days ago. The first time I took dd2 leaf jumping was also the first time DD1 did it. First time we went to the beach was the very first time dd1 saw the beach even though we lived so close. The first time I danced around the room with dd2 was also the first time DD1 did it. This is the first Halloween both DDS are celebrating. Basically every first for dd2 is also the first for dd1. Both girls are seeing things in a child way. Dd1 keeps saying "mummy you take me all over, before we came to this place we never went anywhere, you always used to be sad now your are smiling and happy" some days I just feel like smiling and dd1 asks "why are you smiling mummy?"

Its sonice to see dd1 be a child and not a robot.

Hi Everforever,
Congratulations on being free and very well done for leaving. What a fine example you are to your children. Best wishes on your journey.

Fireworks and or bonfire party. Very therapeutic! Set bonfire alight ( abuse). Send up the fireworks. The lovely lights in the sky. Imagine that's your new sparkly life.

I agree with the bonfire, even if it's only in your own grate at home. Of course it will have to be a very small bonfire in that case!! Maybe privately write some things down on some slips of paper, things you DON'T miss or bad memories from the past. Then burn them. I'd suggest burning an effigy of the ex, but not if the children are around, of course. Then roast marshmallows and make sticky gooey s'mores! Something sweet after burning something bitter!

It is so lovely to hear you are doing so well after such a courageous step to leave him! Well done to you and I love what your DD's said about you being happy and smiling!

I like across 's idea to write a letter and then put it in the bonfire. Very therapeutic!

Good to read!

I think the answer to you question is, happily, "Any way you please!" :)

this is now your life, your family, your future. look at how far you have come, look at what your nerve and bravery gave to your children! you did that!

you should be so proud of yourself/yourselves.

hope you find something really nice to do together.

I had takeawy.. all to my self. (really late as I had to put the children to bed first and they are both allergic to it)

I'd probably have a tattoo but I accept that's not everybody's cup of tea

Well done on leaving the relationship & getting stronger.

I bought some impractical, fabulous shoes. Best foot forward and all that.

Well done indeed.

Buy yourself a congratulations card and write in it - remind yourself how far you've come and how much you've overcome. List all those important firsts in it as well.

Fireworks and bonfire are a terrific idea also!

Plant a tree? Unless you're likely to move I suppose.

I don't think I did anything to mark it

Releasing balloons to symbolise letting go of everything?

nope to balloons - rubber in environment is crap, helium is a depleting resource.

love the plant a tree idea though.