Desperately want to 'meet a man'

[LoafersOrLouboutins]

Cringe because 'meet a man' is the kind of thing my DM would say.

I'm 32, have 2 DDs (ages 6 and 3) and divorced (ExDH is in Iran so not in the scene at all). Since my divorce I've had a FWB (fizzled out because he was too full on and wanted more from our arrangement-I'm done with having children!) and briefly dated a former colleague (Didn't work out due to distance). I would love to have a serious relationship but really struggle to meet men. Most of the men around my age are either very much still single and still going on Ibiza raving holidays or looking to settle down and start a family. Few want a serious relationship but no prospect of starting a family. I absolutely don't want anymore DC. I think an older man is the way to go.

The trouble is, where do I meet a man?! I'm wary of getting involved with colleagues and the men I meet on nights out aren't 'long term DP' material. I don't really fancy internet dating (I know I'm making this hard for myself). My DM suggested I join the local golf club (I don't play golf but they have a rather nice bar and socialising area) to meet a man. Is that really desperate? Would I look a bit odd? I've tried a wine circle before but everybody there was female!

Argh, I'm so desperate and no I should be fulfilled with my life and fabulous DDs but I would love a relationship . Any suggestions very welcome!

Know not no

Internet dating is the most sensible way, surely. Times Encounters or Guardian Soulmates.

Have you thought about why you feel you need a relationship to be happy?

I don't know but if you find out where to find one let me know I want one too! internet dating is not sensible full of weirdos and also there seem to be too many men on there who claim to be single when they are actually married and just looking for a quick and easy shag. am past bars and clubs scene and have young dc's so hard to get out to all these supposed activities where apparently it will just "happen" yeah right.

Internet dating seems to be the way to go these days. Some of my friends, and my mum, have met their partners that way. My mum is 71 and tried it this year so hope for all! It worked for her and she is very happy.

Whereabouts do you live? I am trying to find someone for a lovely friend of my Dh. He has given me 1 year to find him a girlfriend!

Online dating is the best best if you have specific requirements, eg you can state age, whether they have DCs, want any more etc.

That way you can weed out anyone unsuitable before you even meet them, rather than hoping you bump into some golfer who just happens to be there at the same time as you, single, already has DCs or doesn't want any, has things in common and you fancy him. That's a tall order!

However, OD is a bit like catalogue shopping, you can specify all the important things and sift out the crap before you even have the hassle of a date. Obviously you do need a thick skin and to be prepared to meet a few frogs before finding your prince, but there's a reason lots of people do OD, it does work.

For full disclosure I met dp on POF after a few very nice dates with some normal and pleasant men. Dp and I clicked immediately and have been together 2 years. I know I was lucky to find him so quickly/at all, but I'd recommend. OD to anyone.

Best bet.

I am so with you and yummy! Very similar age children too and all my friends are married. Need time and a wing woman - I have neither!

I will be your wing woman! but I also lack time. aargh cant cope with a celibate life its just too depressing

BOth internet dating and joining some kind of social group or organisation. For the latter, pick something that you actually like and care about, because then it will be enjoyable and you won't just be sitting there with your tongue hanging out and 'I am desperate' written on your forehead.

I was in a similar predicament as you. And I met someone online 9 months ago. Before him, I had a few dates, nothing serious but enjoyed the company (and the practise!) this guy tho, I genuinly believe is the love of my life. Give it a go.

Yay yummy and I will be yours! Although I only go out about once every 2-3 months so not sure how I will find someone, obviously price charming hasn't suddenly found me off his own back so maybe I need to give him a helping hand!

If you're into politics, perhaps join a party and start going to meetings, campaigns etc.

Most political parties' membership (especially Tories and UKIP) are male dominated.

Otherwise, join a dancing club (great way to break ice), go to the pub, join an archeological society, a running club, a hiking club etc.

If you don't like the phrase 'meet a man'... How would you phrase it?

Just curious!

'Meet a man'' sounds normal to my ears.

Woo a man perhaps!

Singles events? Prob best if you are in or near a city.

Or as it's Halloween, woooooooooo him?

(sorry - slinks off)

What about joining a local dating club. My neighbour goes to meetings of something called Nexus and they have dinner parties, socials and days out and weekends away.

Singles club, that should read, the dating is optional I understand.

Work, you mention an ex colleague but not sure if you work?

Get a wardrobe of good work clothes, doesn't have to expensive, Get dressed up and wear nice shoes. If an office try lunching out with different female colleagues and your social life will flourish and you can be picky about what events to go to/worthy of arranging a baby sitter for.

Your confidence will soar. You will noticed.

Try golf but only continue if you enjoy it.

I would never take up a hobby you don't enjoy just to meet a partner. The partner will still want to do it after you meet and will end up doing it without you!

Od can work I met my dp online after being encouraged to try it by a friend.

It's very good if you have specific requirements eg don't want dcs want a lt relationship etc etc.

Also remember to clearly state you are only looking for dingle men.

I think you are more likely to end up with a fuckwit if you meet I a club as lots of men who aren't single go and act as if they are.

I met my Beloved internet dating, and had several shorter relationships with some very nice men.

I'm a member of Meetup.com, which has groups for all kinds of interests - some are specifically singles groups, but lots of others are general socialising or dedicated to hillwalking, politics, books, you name it.

The trouble is, where do I meet a man?! I'm wary of getting involved with colleagues and the men I meet on nights out aren't 'long term DP' material. I don't really fancy internet dating (I know I'm making this hard for myself).

You've instantly dismissed just about every man you'll cross paths with. Work, nights out, How do you know one of those men on nights out wouldn't rather be partnered up and only went out to avoid another night on the sofa alone?......

Joining any club that you have no interest in whatsoever just to meet men is daft and you'll look stupid to other club members - I've witnessed it.
Take up a hobby that you are genuinely interested in that has a good mixed ratio would be better (e.g. cycling/running)

Be more open minded and less dismissive