When men go quiet.

[Wishyouwould]

Got introduced to someone on Facebook a couple of months ago by a mutual friend. Although there is quite a difference in distance between us we have lots in common and have chatted and swapped photos and all was good. We are at the same event in a couple of weeks time so will be meeting in person.

We chatted on messenger most days - mostly at night or at weekends and had a real banter. I noticed his messages trailing off a couple of weeks ago and any answers would be one-worded rather than his usual long reply.

I asked him earlier this week if all was ok and he said he was just a bit stressed, etc. not heard anything of him since even though I know he has been on FB regularly.

I'm not going to message him again, it's obvious he's just not interested even though he was up until a couple of weeks ago. I know no-one can tell me the reason why he's gone quiet on me, I just miss out chats and just wonder what I did?!

You did nothing. You maybe filled a gap in his life/time that someone or something else is now filling!

Onwards and upwards from now on. Forget him!

He has either got cold feet at the reality of meeting you.

He was just stringing you along as he had nothing better to do.

He has met someone more interesting.

I was going to add he may be really busy atnwoth howeverbif he has time to Facebook it can't be that.

Sorry someone more interesting is badly phrased. Not saying you are not!

that's ok *magoria. I did think about the reality of meeting up. I'll be with friends and so will he so it's not like a big date or anything. I think it's probable that he has met someone else and that's fine. Just wish (some) men would be more up front and honest.

How has he strung you along??

Where did I say that Vivacia?

He just wasn't that into it. Maybe just didn't click with you. Don't worry about it, you can't please everyone. Just move on and don't contact him again.

Sorry, magoria said that.

OP why do you think he hasn't been upfront and honest? Where has he lied to you? I feel a bit sorry for the man, he doesn't owe you anything, hasn't made any promises (hopefully) and I would feel like him. I wouldn't want to invest too much time and emotion with someone I hadn't met.

You are right Vivacia he doesn't owe me anything at all. I'm 18 months out of a 20 year relationship so I know it's probably more about me. I just liked the attention and our long chats I guess. He was always the one to instigate the chats too. Maybe I have too much time on my hands!

Probably didn't think you liked him, if I was just chatting with a woman and I was always the one instigating i would just think she just being friendly and no more.

Or he might not be into to you, you have only been messaging each other so no commitment made. Don't see a problem with letting things end there.

I imagine he met somebody local to him, it needn't be anything you said. Maybe he hasn't confirmed as much because it's still early days so doesn't want to jeopardise getting along with you in a fortnight's time when you see each other at the event you mentioned.

I don't think he has met anyone or that it was anything you said either. I suspect (could be wrong) that it was because you were always there to reply to him. I think you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket.

Fair enough you had been with someone else for 20years and now you'd found someone you clicked with but...

I think it sounds like too much too soon, in your words you chatted on messenger 'most days either at nights or at weekends'. Pretty intense spell of getting to know each other. I think you need to keep your options open and not just invest time in getting to know this one person.

Thank you Botanic I think you're right and I've taken your words on board. I'll still be meeting him soon so we'll see.

He has found someone or something else to fill his time.