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Original poster

What is his problem?

19 replies

emmalouise1091 · 23/10/2014 01:22

I am currently 29 weeks pregnant. My ex left me about 5 weeks ago. He messaged me earlier to say he was feeling depressed and would I speak to him. I agree and he spends 2 hours talking about this new girl he is in love with and how depressed he is they can't be together yet. He asks me if I have spoken to anyone I mentioned one person I have spoke to and he flies of the handle. Says he doesn't want to speak to me anymore and puts the phone down!

Don't know why I'm writing this maybe just because I'm so annoyed at how he reacted. Anyone have any clues as to what is actually going through his head??

OP posts:
1FluffyJumper · 23/10/2014 01:24

And you spent 2 hours talking to him about her because...?

Original poster
emmalouise1091 · 23/10/2014 01:26

Because I felt sorry for him and want a civil relationship for the babies sake Confused

OP posts:
1FluffyJumper · 23/10/2014 01:29

He's selfish. He expects you to be there for him .....cos you are...but if you do anything that deflates his ego...he's going to get pissed off. Unless he's 12 he should know better than to be having these conversations with you...and you need to stop facilitating it...because you're getting hurt. You don't need to be mates with him to be good parents, independent of one another.

SolidGoldBrass · 23/10/2014 01:42

He's a dick. Cut him off for the present. He has no rights at all to be in your life, and certainly no right to pester you while you are pregnant. Ignore and block him completely and concentrate on yourself and your coming baby. It sounds fairly unlikely that this tiresome man will make any attempt to build a relationship with his child in future, so your best bet would be to work on making your own life better. Good luck.

Nelleebellee · 23/10/2014 03:37

What a dick. I would cut all contact unless it's to do with your child.

whitsernam · 23/10/2014 03:57

My ex was like this... calling to tell me things expecting sympathy... I learned to tell him "I think I'm the wrong person for you to be telling this to. You need to find someone else for support with this stuff." It took quite a while for him to get the message and stop the calls....

DontDrinkAndFacebook · 23/10/2014 04:05

Wow. That's one very selfish and self absorbed man you have there. Have a civil relationship with him, by all means but this is bordering on insane martyrdom on your part. Get a grip and tell him to sod off and bore someone else.

Cabrinha · 23/10/2014 04:48

You need to stop caring what goes through his selfish head.
What kind of arsehole dumps you pregnant then thinks he can rub salt in the wound bleating on about loving someone else to you?
What a wanker.

Why can't he be with her? Because you're sure as hell not taking him back.

MexicanSpringtime · 23/10/2014 04:49

And it's none of his business who you have spoken to

duckwalk · 23/10/2014 04:56

As above..... cut all contact unless it's to give him updates about pregnancy. If he calls again saying he's down/depressed/needing someone to talk to just let him know it's not your problem.
x

Aussiemum78 · 23/10/2014 05:02

So he doesn't want anyone to know how he broke up with you (because he looks like a jerk)?

And the new girl is married? Is he thinking of coming back to you if it doesn't work out?

I think you need to stop protecting him. He is a selfish twat, and you are being a door mat. You are alone and pregnant and he wants to whine to you about how hard he has it???

By all means talk to him if you have to but tell him you aren't interested in his love life or emotional state.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 23/10/2014 07:20

'Civil' doesn't mean listening to this ridiculous man's sob-stories and insults for two hours. There's no baby yet so there is nothing you need to talk to him about. Get maintenance off him in due course, facilitate access to the baby if he seems interested (which is not a given) but please remember that he is not your friend. Keep future conversations to purely practical matters - a few lines of a text or a few sentences over the phone only. You owe him nothing

Longdistance · 23/10/2014 07:25

Well, that's two hours of your life you'll never get back!

StopStalkingMe · 23/10/2014 07:28

He's cake-eating with you. 2 hours whining about his new girl-friend???

You don't need to do that for your baby's sake.

Absolutely go NC unless it is to do with baby. Full-stop.

FluffyMcnuffy · 23/10/2014 08:01

What a dick. I would cut all contact unless it's to do with your child.

I echo this.

VileStatistyx · 23/10/2014 08:27

I wonder if you were supposed to be weeping and wailing over the loss of him and begging him to please come back to you. The woman he loves talk was meant to upset you but when you didn't fall apart and vow he's the only man you'll ever love or want but just said yeah, I've seen someone, his little fantasy of you on the floor at home, sobbing into the lino because he's your whole universe and you'd take him back in a second went poof.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 23/10/2014 10:27

My stbx was like this - spent an entire contact visit when he was supposed to be visiting the dcs but instead was rhapsodising about his new girlfriend (which he accidentally let slip that he had been having an emotional affair with for almost a year while we were still together Hmm).

Restrict contact to child-related only and stick to it.

Original poster
emmalouise1091 · 23/10/2014 15:04

I think I'm just getting my head around the fact I've spent the last 2 years completely blind to how pathetic he is! Just thanking my lucky stars I've escaped now. It's like he wants me on a string to wait around for when it all goes pear shaped with this new girl and he's realised I'm not going to! He appears to be very jealous of the baby as well which is pathetic.

OP posts:
duckwalk · 23/10/2014 16:36

I'm glad you can see this guy's no good for you. Unbelievable that he thinks you'd want to hear him bleat on about another woman for any length of time let alone 2 hours. It would seem you've had a lucky escape..... take care of yourself and your little baby bump x

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