Hi all
Wondered if some could please share some thoughts on my situation, i'm kind of going round and round in my head and nowhere fast.....am i fooling myself here ???????????
i'm a single mum with 2 DS, i work full time in a pretty demanding job, that i do love, but is pretty tiring. i've been single for over 5 years and dated a wee bit here and there. nothing special.
then, a friend introduced me to one of her friends, and we started emailing and then chatting on the phone. we have both said we would like to get out there and meet people and possibly date.....so she thought we would get on well personality wise. We got on like a house on fire !! i haven't had such a great connection with someone literally for decades!! i'm 37 and he is 42.
however, he doesn't live close to me, a good 3hr drive, and he travels a lot with his work. i did mention that at the start, and we both said that it would be just nice to see how we got on. i think we were both taken aback at how well we got on. so, a month of chatting on the phone regularly and emailing and texting, we met up 3 times with lots of spark. he drove up to see me twice and i went down to see him.
he then realised the actual distance.... i'd asked him to always be open and honest so, he said he was concerned about the distance, and us feeling pressure to see each other...... he's also for the next 3 months literally in the uk for only 6 days, which i know and understand.... but i was totally gutted. but i was nice about it and thanked him for being straight up and honest. i said goodby and goodluck with everything. he was really taken aback and thought we would be able to stay friends. he said he thought about it a lot before making the decision, nad still wanted me in my life. i said no thanks, that i didn't just feel he was my just my 'friend' as there was such a spark there.
long story short, he wasn't expecting that, but was respectful and only contacted me a couple of times in the following week saying he was gutted that i didn't want to stay in touch.
i realised i missed his banter, so i said that ok we could give being 'friends' a go.
heres the crunch though- since then - over 3 weeks ago - he has been in contact with me every day... just friendly texts and banter as we both know a lot about our jobs..... but i'm looking forward to his texts or calls and i know i'm being a bridget and in my head he is not my friend.
Basically - i would love any advice on whether you think he likes me more than a friend?? - i'm confused what his contacting me every day means? and am i being a door mat by being his 'friend' ..... would it be cruel to say to him that i'm finding it hard with this level of contact to just think of him as a friend and i really need it to pare down or stop, as i really would like to be going out on dates with an open mind of the men that ask me out nad not kind of hanging back waiting on him figuring out that we could work over the distance??????? or is it likely that after this period of intense travelling and work stuff he will feel more able to give us a go???
sounds trivial, but please, it's not to me, this finally felt like an amazing fit and i'm completely confused...but i do want to get out there and have a social life now and be open to meeting the right man for me and my family..but how much does things like distance cotnrol if you both really like each other?
cheers in advance x