Asked on date. Age gap.

[Celestria]

I've been asked on a date by a lad I was in college with. However I am thirty, divorced with four children. He is twenty, no children. I've told him no, as I believe a ten year gap in the twenties and thirties is too much. People change a lot. I'm looking for someone with a view to settling down which he says he wants to do. But he's twenty.

Am I being unfair to him? I've never dated anyone younger than me, ever. In fact usually they are ten years older than me. I just don't think it would be a good idea. He's sad that 'I won't give him a chance' and I feel bad. Thoughts?

If you like him then give it a chance, if you don't then don't. I wouldnt get too hung up on the age gap at this stage.

I'm 24 and wouldn't date a twenty year old guy. My brother is 18 and his friends (aged 17-20) are all immature wankers, I couldn't be bothered with that drama.

Maybe this guy is really nice and mature though? I suppose it depends on the person.

You'll have some people who think it's too big a gap at that age and some who think you should go for it. Personally I think twenty is massively different maturity wise to a thirty year old especially when the older person has had more life experience. But you won't know if it works for you unless you try I suppose!

Yr instincts telling you no, so no it is. He'll get over being knocked back.

I don't think it is the age gap per se that would stop me from dating the guy in this scenario

it is the gap in life experience

what on earth would a 20yo childless guy have in common with a woman with 4 kids ?

"sad you won't give him a chance" ?

fuck him off for that comment alone

No offence but I would honestly wonder what a 20 year old would want with a 30 year old and 4 kids.

What does he want? Probably the same as most men. They like how I look. Which sadly immediately puts me off them.

I will stick with the no, I'm happy with that. Thanks

at 49 I dated a 40 year old. The age gap wasn't a problem the life gap (as AF put is) was. He had no children and was totally hopeless at planning anything so I could get childcare arranged.

Nothing to stop you going once or twice but I wouldn't bank on it being the romance of the century.

Often seem to comment on such threads, dp was early 20's when we got together, still at uni, living with parents etc. I was a 34 year old divorcee, 2 dc's, horrendous debts (thanks to ex h) and frankly a 'great' catch Well over 6 years later here we are, he now does an amazing job of supporting us all (financially and otherwise) and life is lovely. The age gap has been vastly reduced over the years, he maintains it's due to the stress of family life ageing him and me looking young for my age
When in your shoes I just decided to go for it, I didn't involve my dcs until I knew we were for keeps but I didn't want his age to stop me from getting to know him and I'm so so glad I ignored both convention and peoples rather unhelpful comments and advice.
Age really is just a number, my ex was my age and was way more irresponsible and immature than dp.
Good luck, whatever you decide!

He is not asking you to marry him at this stage so whats the problem? It is only a date and you are allowed to have some fun.
The important thing is to remember your children come first. He will have no idea about children and their needs.
Apart from that, I would go for it. Best of luck.