Had DS almost 10 months ago and he's a challenge. Doesn't sleep, has feeding issues and is generally a bit crazy.
DH was absolutely wonderful in the beginning (I had PND) and has continued to pitch in as much as he can; he'll do the last feed of the night and gets up with him two mornings a week (we both work full-time). He adores DS and would do anything for him.
However, there is now such a distance between us that was never there before. I know that the arrival of a new baby, especially a first born, changes the dynamics of a relationship but I can't help but shake the feeling that he's not 100% with us because he is involved with someone else.
Recently, he has been glued to his phone. He's set up a passcode on it (this is a new development) and I'm naturally suspicious of this. When I go to bed (early to cope with multiple risings of DS), if I wake up, I see him on his phone in bed, sometimes until well after midnight.
I've obviously asked what he's looking at, to which he replies "news/youtube/listening to music" which is fair enough but, given that we're both perpetually exhausted, I would have thought sleep would have been a top priority.
The last two nights I have had deeply disturbing dreams where he had admitted to cheating and left us. I know this is fiction but I'm petrified this could be a reality in the near future.
The lack of intimacy in our relationship is something we both lament but with a demanding full time job, the majority of child care and all the night wakings, I'm bloody shattered. I've also not regained my pre-pregnancy figure and my self-confidence is at an all time low.
Most of me knows this is ridiculous - I'm simply transferring my own insecurities about my appearance and weight onto him and making something out of nothing. Yet, there's this small part of me that can't let go of this.
Can someone please knock some sense into me?