Therapy?

[nicecupofteaforme]

I'm in a bit of emotional turmoil (understatement). I have been in an on off intensive relationship for last 3 years. He tends to walk out if I do or say something he doesn't like. I get reasonably bad pmt and don't want him around me at those times. He says I put everything else before him. I have two kids aged 12 and 13 so of course they are my priority but he says i put work and studies before him also. But i want to be financially stable and to do this need work and further study. He has offered to look after me financially but what when he walks out?! He thinks I am in love with my ex. I love my ex but don't think he would ever get back together with me, not sure if I would want to either. HAven't seen him for many, many years but we do stay in touch. WEll, when my partner and i are together we do not stay in touch as he doesn't want me to. but when he walks out/dumps me i tend to get in touch with him. Nothing much, just hey how are you? whats happening in your life etc. I don't know why i do it.

So current relationship says he doesn't trust me, thinks in love iwth ex and it is damaging his health all this on off relationship. I said so stop effeing walking out on me then.... I know he did this in other relationships too

Couples therapy? My head hurts :( I adore him so much I can't seem to break free, every time we split up i try and move on but just can't. :(

Well I'm confused! Did you say you loved your ex? And then you wonder why this man is unsure about you?

It's because you love your ex! So I don't blame him. I wouldn't settle for someone who still loved their previous partner.

I love him as a person but not in that way. It is confusing I know but I totally love mr current

someone please?

Your ex is an ex for good reason but Mr Current Man is not right for you either. Your "love" for him is more likely than not to actually be co-dependency. All this intensity (massive highs and deep lows), dramas and walking out over the past 3 years is not healthy for your children to be witnessing either. What do you think they are learning about relationships here.

You would be far better off on your own along with continuing to concentrate your energies on them, your work and studying. You do not need such men to validate your own existence.

What did you learn about relationships when growing up, you seem to have learnt an awful lot of stuff that really now needs to be unlearnt so counselling for you alone is adviseable.

I think you are right Attila about therapy by myself however can't afford it. Doctor only offer CBT which i did before and was useless for me.

I wish I could cut out men and focus on other stuff but i just cannot. my partners have always been my best friends as well. i'm very private person and don't like sharing with RL people.

BACP are good and do not charge the earth, I think it would help you a lot to talk to someone. Its certainly no shame to sit in front of someone impartial and talk.

I will go and have a look at them now. Re relationships seen as a child. Don't know my real dad and he is now dead. Mum divorced step dad when i was 11 and then stayed single after that

Still only found minimum £35 an hour for local people on that website. Qualifications are diploma in counselling. Really? The local college hold these courses. I am doing Masters level study and just thought these people would be more qualified?