Helping the sisterhood, wish you could?

[Louboutin37]

Potted history, I left my ex H 3 years ago after 1 9 month affair, several other attempts at sexting, EA's etc (FB, MSN Messenger and he was even trawling for dating sites for married people, all documented, screen grabbed and copied at the time.

I walked away with dignity and pride after I spent 2 years plotting my escape and pulling myself together and I've never looked back.

During our separation he was a total bully (and while we were married to be fair), I had emotional blackmail for months after I left until he met another woman. Whilst we were married he totally shut down my social circle and killed my confidence with constant criticism.

I hear from mutual friends that he has done a total number on my memory. Apparently I was a power hungry career woman who bled him dry and dropped him like a stone when I got a huge promotion, this isn't helped by the fact that I now own a very lovely house. The truth is that when I left him I left his pension and shares intact and could have gone for a lot more money. There were no children so I am not beholden to him for anything. What I have now is all down to sheer bloody hard work.

Last weekend he got married, she seems like a lovely woman, friends of mine have commented on how he has managed to sucker in another woman and how sorry they feel for her.

I should add that this is his third marriage, he's only 47 and it's not been 3 years to the day since I left the building yet!

Now I would never interfere at this stage, as much as I could plausibly and with evidence but do you ever wish you could just do the sisterhood a favour and warn them?

I wish I'd met his first wife as I'm sure his story that she had an affair wasn't true after what I saw in he latter stages of our marriage.

I knew my ex's previous 2 partners (!) and I was STILL suckered in.
Unfortunately with some well placed lies it was all too easy to assume these women were bitter or vengeful.

I've said nothing to ex's current GF as he obviously will be feeding her the same bs he tells his parents. I feel wracked by guilt but she's not my responsibility.

Oh god yes!
I left my XH because he slept with prostitutes the whole 10 years we were together (I didn't know til later on!)

He has a girlfriend now. I ahem have evidence that at the latest he was booking prostitutes 6 weeks into their relationship, and continually since about every month for the 6 months of it.

I hate him, he disgusts me, and a big part of me wants to tell her for revenge on him - I may as well be honest.

But I haven't because:

1. I'm not sure she'll drop him (vengeful ex...)
2. He met her through family. I have protected his mother from why we split. Having kept it quiet I don't want someone else blowing all that!

I am torn, some days.

Of course he's also told her he's had to pay to keep his daughter in his life. News to me, given I volunteered a settlement that is about 30% not 50% (he has some assets that predate me that I don't personally think I am entitled to, though I am legally), have let him stay in the marital home with a delayed buy out and I don't claim maintenance of about £300 a month when I could. I also have a killer commute still because I chose to keep our daughter near him.

It irks somewhat, that he has showed off to her that he has paid out cos he's such a good dad. It's because her child's father did a bunk.

In fact - if your initials are VA and your daughter is L and you've just been to a city beginning R... (you never know who is a mumsnetter!) then please - save yourself some heartache and probably an STI

Fear not, those aren't my initials and I have no daughter, but here's hoping that she receives a clever warning from the sisterhood! Maybe we should start a thread called "to the new woman, messages from the ex"?!