over for good but need strenght

[xxtoughyearxx]

Hi all, abit of a long one but hopefully a happy ending. Ive been with my now ex partner for a number of years but since last december things have been difficult. Last december things went suddenly bad and there was violence and vile name calling but i stayed then this year despite the rows and the emotional abuse i just kept trying.

In april sadly we went through the tradegy of a mc this was a very difficult time for me and i guess him too although he didnt show it. This man attacked me about a week after i mc actually dragging me out of bed ( i was resting as i was still physically drained) whacked my head of a chest and draws and gave me a few punches and split my lip.

Literally after this i moved out it was a very difficult decision but i knew i had to find a place to live so i did. Unfortunitly the only place to rent in my area wasnt too far from his house but i moved into this new place despite this. We stayed separated for a while but eventually i realised moving a couple of roads away wasnt a good move at all, although better than with him. I had escaped after feeling trapped for so long. He didnt seem to understand why i had gone and took days for him to apoligize but then after he did he would not get the msg and eventually i took him back and we started seeing each other again but he did not move in etc anyway the last couple of weeks hasnt been great and there has been more name calling and him trying to control who i talk to and where i go, and yesturday he lost it completly at my place so i told him it was the end and he stormed out and then yesturday afternoon he txted me although the morning hadnt happened at all it was very odd, anyway i have ignored his msgs yesturday which was hard but i did it, and today he hasnt msged me at all. Im hoping he has got the msg for good this time. i have deleted contact with him on facebook and blocked his email.

I guess i know ive done the right thing but because i literally have only a couple of real life friends i would like to hear this from you and i am hoping this is a new start for me for good and i wont give him any more chances

Im hoping he has got the msg for good this time.

Could you just clearly state what you believe this message to be?

Hi OP

Well done separating from this man. He is not a good partner. It looks as if you've had trouble keeping away from him after the previous incidents. I reckon things will get better, but only if you don't go back to him.

Please don't let him back in your life.
He dragged you out of bed after you had suffered a MC ( condolences by the way) and smacked your head off a chest of drawers and punched you.
He tries to control you and calls you names.
Please believe you deserve better than this.
Would you consider reporting his behaviour to the police?
If you want to hear it from someone else YOU HAVE DONE THE RIGHT THING and from someone who knows how hard it is to get away, ignore him completely, surround yourself with friends and distractions.
I hope you're ok

Poor you. It sounds like you are totally better off without him. I'm so sorry about the MC. I do hope you're ok.

viv the msg is its over and i really dont ever want to take him back.
i really am going to try my best in ignoring him if he gets in touch, yeh he did just a week after mc it was really low point in my life and he made it worse thats when i knew i had to leave and move out. i am feeling ok atm about the split as i know deep down it will never change.

This guy has got you in the abuse cycle. Each time you justify there is a reason to go back to him his power over you increases and his ability to abuse you worse each time also increases. Please dont go back with him.
Get him out of your life NOW. Do not look back. You deserve better than constant abuse and tears. I left an abusive (verbal and emotional) marriage. It was the best thing I could do for myself. I hope you find the strength to do the same before your family is making your funeral preparations. That indeed will happen if you keep justifying on reasons to go back, so stick with your decison it will hurt for a while but in the long game your miles better off