Poor sex life

[Colouring]

My partner and I have been together for 2 years, moved in with me & my children a year ago and I can honestly say he is the best thing that's ever happened to us.
We get on amazingly & the children adore him as he does them, he works hard for us and in all but this one area of our lives together I can't complain, but our sex life is rubbish. It's become few & far between and when we do dtd it's always the same routine, I do the work and he falls asleep & I'm left more and more frustrated.
I don't honestly believe he is being deliberately selfish in bed, he just seems oblivious to my needs. We both work hard and long hours and have discussed the lack of quantity but how do I tell him the quality isn't all that and make him realise I have needs also!! Its a bit brutal to tell someone that you feel your sex life together is rubbish isn't it?

Yes! You can't go down that road with men's egos being so feeble. You need to be more subtle.

Can you discuss sex openly with your partner? Maybe suggest things you like and ask him what he likes too. I agree that going straight in and telling him your sex life is shit is more likely to make him withdraw as no one wants to feel they are rubbish in bed. You mention you do all the work, which would make me wonder how confident or sexually experienced he is.

It's all about phrasing. Blaming him for the rubbish sex life is confrontational, but have you asked for what you want? Pretty sure he's not psychic. Particularly if you merrily do 'all the work' when energy can be mustered.
Lack of energy seems the start and then it goes round to a pattern. Can you identify (arrange) a quiet day together?
Suggest things for him. Ask what he'd like etc?

Stop doing it. If he hasn't asked why, four weeks later, throw him out.

If he seems keen to start again, tell him what you'd like, don't make him guess. As you haven't mentioned it, he thinks he's doing ok.

Communication is the key.

Talk to each other. Seriously, how can he be expected to know what you want / need / how you like it, without being told or shown by his partner?

Throw him out?? Shit advice - op has said their relationship is grwat except sex. Of course she shouldn't throw him out when they can work it through!

No relationship is 'great except sex'. If the sex isn't right, its not a great relationship.

I actually counselled her to give him a chance. Stop making the running (so that she knows for sure whether he wants it or not) and if he wants it, tell him what she'll enjoy.

That was tremendously reasonable advice.