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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

need support please - know you lot will understand

6 replies

greenberet · 19/10/2014 10:09

H ive been posting various threads on what im going through - Im sinking -its the constant mixed messages doing my head in and I feel like i have no say in anything. The big hurdle is looming which is whether we get to stay in the family home - i doubt this is possible but DH says it is but it will be on his terms. We had a psycotherapist at our mediation session - i asked him what his background was and he told me he negotiates with hostage situations. That is exactly what I feel like - I might as well be trying to negotiate with a monkey. DH has told me to stop being angry and I need to move on- How can i move on when we are in limbo and having to dance to his tune all the time - its playing a game where the rules constantly change - I know ill get through this but its dealing with it in on a daily basis at the moment - i just cant get away from it - I'm aready on Ads & seeing counsellor - some words of advice please

OP posts:
greenberet · 19/10/2014 10:11

sorry mean to post this under EA relationships

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 19/10/2014 10:11

Why do you thin you have stayed married to this person? If a relationship doesn't work for you and enhance your life, then remove yourself from the relationship.

Anniegetyourgun · 19/10/2014 10:20

Don't worry, you can have your own thread, you're worth it!

Don't listen to your 'D'H; he speaketh rubbish. By "move on" he means "get back in your box, woman". Find out for yourself what is legally possible (I can't emphasise this enough - it really is important). As for being angry, why shouldn't you be? Properly channelled anger can be a force for positive change. No wonder he wants you to stop.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 19/10/2014 10:50

You can't mediate with an unreasonable person.

The choices you have at the moment are either to accept his terms and settle quickly or send it to court, pay the extra and let him drag it out. I'm sorry you're struggling.

Quitelikely · 19/10/2014 14:17

Can you give more info. So are you saying you're still married or are you separated?

Quitelikely · 19/10/2014 14:19

Ok just read ergos post! I've no experience of mediation unfortunately but I think lots of other folk who frequent this board do maybe if you change your thread title they will come and help you out.

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