Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Screwed Up

3 replies

SoftlySpoken502013 · 19/10/2014 01:44

I am so screwed up. I love this woman to bits. I moved in with her 1 year ago. I miss my kids and my grandkids. She cant move cos of her kid (25) and also her ex has HD (Huntington Disease) which means her son may have it! I love her to bits but she is so guilty about it which means he cannot go do anything wrong. He doesn't clean up and treats me like I am his Dad or if not like I am a twat. And she just thinks he can do anything! I wont go in to the detail yet but I think without knowing it he takes the piss (or he doesn't want me to be with his mum). I know she loves me cos she has put up with a lot from me) But is that because she knows she wants someone to deal with HD???? All replies welcome. And btw he is a good lad although a lazy shit. And I spend more time and money on looking after his mum and consequently him. I do love her though! Arggghhhhh

OP posts:

AcrossthePond55 · 19/10/2014 02:44

Her son can be tested to see if he carries the HD gene. If he has the HD gene he WILL get HD, if he does not have the HD gene, he will NOT get it. HD doesn't usually manifest itself until mid-life (age 30-50) although symptoms can start sooner. I'd suggest (but not insist, it is his decision as he may not want to know) that he be tested, especially if he is exhibiting symptoms, mental or physical.

It sounds as if you're torn between her and missing your own family. And as if living with her is not easy. It also sounds as if her priority is her son. I can't say this is wrong as I would choose my children over a man, too. You may have to decide if that is something you can live with.

Is your own family so far that you cannot see them frequently? Or that you could not live near them and divide your time between your own home and your lady's home?

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/10/2014 02:59

she has put up with a lot from me like what?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 19/10/2014 07:25

Someone doesn't have to be a bad person to be the wrong person for you. Older people come with baggage. Exes, children, ingrained habits etc. If she prioritises her son over you - and she's entitled to do that, of course - and if you don't like it then this could be what they call a 'deal breaker' that eventually drives you apart. It's sad when you are otherwise compatible, but that's the score.

Flip