Unsure on father

[Tennisforever]

Please don't judge me ! I had 18 month affair which ended in June 14! Got back with my husband and came off protection ! Last period was 14 sep 14 and a moment of weakness slept with other man on 16 sep ! I then went on holiday with my husband on 24 sep and had sex 4 times on that holiday ! Took preg test on 15 oct 14 which says I am preg and conception was 2 -3 weeks ago ! I know by looking at ovulation calc that my fertile period was on holiday ! How can i be sure it is my husbands ? Wondering if best to terminate so I don't wreck my marriage ! That is my main concern ! Any thoughts greatly received

Why did you have unprotected sex with new man on the 16th?

According to your dates, it's most likely to be your husband's. Whether you continue with the pregnancy or not has to be solely your choice. But if your marriage is to continue, you have to have a deep look at why you aren't faithful to him. He deserves that at least, poor man.

It was the same guy I had an affair with who I slept with on 16 sep

Yes I know I have treated my husband terribly ! Been going through a life crisis thinking there was something better out there for me as I am pretty unexperienced with men and the affair hit me for six! No excuses I know but I now know there isn't

How can i be sure it is my husbands?

You can't be, without a pre natal paternity test. Though on those dates it is most likely to be your husband's.

Putting aside the question of paternity - would you like to have a child with your husband?

Yes for sure !

You need to be very sure - please consider whether your relationship is robust enough to withstand having a child. I read something on here a while back that is true.... having a child doesn't fix a relationship, it tests it. To its limits.

What do you want to do? how would you feel about having a termination?

Many thanks for the kind and wise words!

Sometimes I think termination would be best so as to avoid any doubts re who is the father ! Then I have doubts about that as I too reckon based on dates it's my husbands and I feel so bad killing my unborn child ! Worry I will regret it in years to come and that part will come back to haunt me ! Worry it would affect fertility later on

Don't know if to be honest with my husband and decide together ! He knew I had an affair but would be devastated to know we made contact after June

A termination is both your right, and a very big decision. There are organisations that offer counselling to help you explore how you feel - if you are seriously considering it, I would talk to someone first.

Being honest with your husband would be a huge relief, I imagine, but it could also mark the end of your marriage and you should be prepared for that.

Sleeping with the OM a month ago is very recent. Are you sure that the affair is over? Are you sure that you want to be with your husband?

Another way to look at it is that it is possible that you can go ahead with the pregnancy in the full knowledge that you may well end up going it alone. Many women do, very successfully. But only you can decide wether this is possible for you.

How is this a blog post?

The affair is definitely over and yes the man I want is my husband

My husband and I have a two year old already and I really want to make the correct decision that keeps my family together

I have been through a crisis in my life and ashamed of my behaviour and that it has ultimately ended in this situation

Just assumed OP is newbie and posted in random spot?

Sorry if posted in wrong place

You can ask the site to move it to a more appropriate place - relationships, I would say. Just click the 'report' button on your original post and ask.

I did originally click thinking, this is going to be an interesting blog!

I have now done that