Sweet Revenge on ex-DP

[DeeDeeMe]

A bit of a background - my exDP and his new wife (12 years younger than him?!?) went behind my back and got authorised absence from school for DS to go on holiday with them.

I was livid, how dare he! It won't happen again as I've been to school to tell them that as primary carer that permission can only be given to me.

Anyway this Christmas it is my turn to have DS for Christmas Day and was supposed to be his turn Boxing Day ( we have alternated since we split 7 years ago).

BUT not this year, I'll keep DS from the 24th - 28th, exDP will think twice about trying to get one over on me in the future!

Either: While I agree with everyone that revenge at Christmas is a petty and harmful idea, I share your outrage at your ex taking your son out of school without discussing it first. Crappy behaviour. Don't add more.

Or: I had never heard of 'a reverse' until today and now I've seen 2 in a row

And then next year when it's his turn to have DS for Christmas, he might keep him a few extra days.

This type of revenge will go on and on and on .... with everyone involved getting hurt.

Did your DS go on the holiday? If so, why?

And don't get revenge on your ex using your child, FGS.
It will only be your DS you hurt by not allowing him to be with his dad on Boxing Day.

Gotta be a reverse. OP has said in previous posts that she's been with her DP for seven years and married for one (new wife) and that her dp has a ds from a previous relationship.

OP id suggest your dp seeks legal advice... (or the father of the child in question)

What Pretty said.

A reverse where you drop in you're 12 years younger. Why???

And not telling the woman who gave birth to your child that you were applying to take him out of school and on holiday for a week is incredibly rude and disrespectful IMO.

But I relation to her Xmas threats, tell your DP to seek legal advice. Was contact agreed by the courts or by mutual agreement?

Why bother with a reverse

Good advice given already OP.

Either a reverse or op is batshit.

if you've been separated for 7yrs, you really need to get the hell over yourself.

If he's on the BC, he doesn't need your permission to ask the school for an authorised absence to take him on holiday.

Taking the child off him over xmas in 'revenge' shows up you for just being petty and nasty and you clearly have a screw loose.

if this is a reverse, then you're also daft and i feel sorry for the poor child stuck in the middle of it all.. he is what is important, not you.

This is the alcoholic partner you mentioned in a past thread?

Poor child. Poor, poor child.

Oh, and a 12-year difference is not that big a deal. Get over yourself.

I'm 12 years younger than my DH. Just saying.....

So you are annoyed that your ex wants to include his son on a family holiday? He was overstepping the line doing it during term without consulting you I do agree.

Seriously, just get over him already.

I feel really sorry for that kid who I hope is too young to understand what gets said.

I'm 12 years younger than my husband as well

OP appears to have gone....

Petty - move on.

The best revenge is to live well

I really hope this is a 'reverse' AIBU. Otherwise you are a disgusting woman using your child as a weapon to get petty revenge.

My exP is a complete wanker but it's me that holds that view, its nothing to do with DD, DD loves him so for her, I will keep my mouth firmly shut.

I suggest you do the same and not use the boy as revenge.

Oh for FFS

OP I think you need to focus on the primary issue - which is the suitability of the school your DS is attending and their safeguarding procedures, which are disgraceful!

Firstly, they should have spoken to you, as primary carer, when they were approached by your DS dad for an authorised abscence. It is totally unacceptable that you did not know about this in advance. Not only does it raise concerns about your DS welfare and safety, but it means you were unaware of the exceptional circumstances that led to the abscence being authorised - which your DS is undoubtedly emotionally impacted by.
While the law allows either parent to apply for such an abscence, it is at best, poor practice, and at worst, a breach of safeguarding procedures, on their part to give such permission without speaking to the DCs primary carer and gaining a clear idea of the wider situation.

Secondly, the school should not have assured you that they will only give such permission to you in future, as that is not lawful.

The school seem woefully inadequate to deal with a high conflict separated parenting situation. Who knows what will happen next!

wakey

I think that you are wrong the primary issue isn't the school, its the OP's desire for revenge.

A schools' purpose is not to mediate between two adults.

Poor kid caught in the middle. Nothing good will come of this.

Oof! Poor kid

Errm.......

Afternoon all. Please, please bear in mind that MN talkboards are a supportive place. No problem disagreeing, but please no personal attacks, and if you think someone's spinning you a line, report it to HQ and we'll take a look.

Thanks folks