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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Texts I must not send

54 replies

ShouldISellTheHouse · 17/10/2014 22:14

I hate my ex. He's been an utter shit. I know It isn't healthy to keep telling him this so I thought I'd post the angry texts I write here instead of sending them.
Please feel free to join in.

I don't know why I even bother asking. You are so ignorant. This is your children's only holiday this year, probably for the rest of their childhood. I can't believe what you have chosen to do to them and their lives. I don't know how you can live with yourself to be honest.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShouldISellTheHouse · 23/10/2014 20:19

I think the fact that I didn't cheat and he did confers all the moral high ground to me forever... Perhaps that is part of my problem?

OP posts:
Tinks42 · 23/10/2014 21:05

why is it your problem? he did the dirty. He deserves everything you care to say to him and more. I also name call and swear, so what? you aren't in the national papers...are you? (grins) I maintain that I can swear as much as I want, have a terrible potty mouth as much as I like. I don't have to have a "moral" high ground. I personally direct the shit back to where it came and some. It gets it all out and I carry nothing on with me. You did it so you have it.

Tinks42 · 23/10/2014 21:08

I have never felt depressed (I dont mean real chemically depressed by the way). I don't harbour things that can internalise. I say exactly what i want to in this type of situation.

newstartforme · 23/10/2014 21:12

I cant fathom how you thought it would be okay to charm me, get me into bed.. then drop me.. You said you liked me. You said we connected. I let you in. You have hurt me greatly. More than you will ever know.. I hope someone you like does this too you..
I even put up with you biting my nipple. Did you think I liked it? You couldn't even get it up.. But still I smiled..
I wonder if this is why you have done this..

Cabrinha · 23/10/2014 21:14

The text I won't send:

"are you wondering why I haven't told your new girlfriend that you've already cheated on her with prostitutes, as you did me? It's simply because as a revenge move, it would be so much better to wait until you're in a lot deeper. Don't go thinking you're going to get another nice wife - because an engagement might feel like a good time to show her the evidence"

"PS you're a louse ridden shit and I wish you loneliness"

Tinks42 · 23/10/2014 21:17

To that one then newstart i would say... I'd call you a wanker but since you cant even do that anyway there's no point so instead I will call you an inadequate prick :)

newstartforme · 23/10/2014 21:39

ha tinks!! classic you've summed the bugger right up x

Tinks42 · 23/10/2014 21:53

Seriously though newstart, there is nothing wrong with telling someone that theyve hurt you. Its not a weakness at all, its a strength. You dont have to get one up either but have to say I like to. Am I vindictive... yes, do I pay back, yes. I do what "I" want I don't really care how it makes me "look", so what. Im very kind and don't kick off unless there's a reason, so I let them have it! It's very simple.

Memphismoon · 23/10/2014 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tinks42 · 23/10/2014 21:59

So why don't you send that then Memphis? its balanced and kind? theres nothing worse than thinking "if only" lifes far too short to do that. If you get no reply, so what? YOU said how you felt. It doesnt have to be reciprocated.

Memphismoon · 23/10/2014 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NickiFury · 23/10/2014 22:12

I told ex that he must keep to the contact schedule. He keeps dicking around, refusing to commit to a weekly schedule or changing it ten minutes before so kids disappointed. He replied:-

"You're not so keen on schedules when it comes to getting child support paid are you?" This because I asked ONCE for it to be paid two days early as was in dire straits. I've been sitting here seething about it.

I wanted to reply "fuck you, you're a rubbish Dad who picks up and puts down his kids whenever you feel like it, you disappear and don't even bother to ring them for weeks at a time, why so interested all of a sudden? Been dumped by most recent bit of fluff have you?"

But I didn't, I turned off my phone and ignored it but now I get to post it here Smile.

Tinks42 · 23/10/2014 22:13

Well maybe you need to get in that position then. The position of getting out of something you're unhappy in whether it be for that particular man or not is the way to go. Life really is very short.

pieceofpurplesky · 23/10/2014 22:26

Dear DH you are a fucking twat and have had a mid life crisis. It is not ok to decide to leave your family because you don't feel loved after your wife has had a miscarriage. I was fucking suffering you nob. Yes I was not supportive but neither were
You - you said you were glad our baby died. At least I didn't run off and join a fucking band, start hanging around with misfits and degenerates and certainly did not abandon my morals.
It is not ok to NEVER have your son overnight and then on the one occasion you offer to babysit so I can go out - you do not tell me I am taking fucking advantage of your good nature. One night in seven months. You are taking advantage.
You are a selfish pathetic waste of space.
So why the fuck would I have you back in a heartbeat and why do I still love you?
That's better!!!!!!

NotAnotherNewNappy · 23/10/2014 22:32

Here's one for my new boss...

"I found your emails on the shared drive and so I know you are trying to fuck me over, you silly bitch - have you forgotten my specialism is IT? Also, everything you tell our director gets back to me, so I am now doubly sure you are a two faced cow. I used to respect you and had planned to spend the next year working hard to support you. Now I know you're an embarrassment to our profession and to working women in general, I am so going to leave you in the shit. Perhaps if you were a talented professional you wouldn't feel so threatened & envious of me, you spiteful twat."

Sorry, not really in the spirit of the thread, but I have her number and my fingers are twitching.

Tinks42 · 24/10/2014 00:32

NotAnother, I get that but secure another better job first then send it :)

Pieceof, send it!

Vodkajellies · 24/10/2014 01:01

When dts1 was in hospital i was absolutely terrified about what was happening to him and you wasn't there for either of us even though two days before we had a major heart to heart and you promised me that I could rely on you did you show me once again that I'm on my own raising our dcs.
you left me a single parent to live the life of Riley with the ow while I deal with all the crap I've had enough it's been two months now since we last spoke and it's killingethe dcs miss you as do I so please see what you did wrong and step up I need you and so do our boys

StopStalkingMe · 24/10/2014 01:26

Dear Ex Parasitic AssHat:

How's the fresh pussy doing for you, you slimeball. Kept her on the back burner just in case, didn't you? I wonder how she fell for your lies. Played the 'Poor Me!' card, did you? You know, all the while I was doing everything coz of your illness and you grieving your dad, did she comfort you in the small hours of the night while I slept upstairs, exhausted by being your wife? I hope karma bites you in the ass. You pathetic piece of shit. Do us all a favor and off yourself.

Tinks42 · 24/10/2014 01:43

Send Vodka but leave out the last bit end it at the dc's miss you.

Tinks42 · 24/10/2014 01:44

totally send stoptalking :)

PetraThePanda · 24/10/2014 07:48

OP, although its somewhat entertaining to read what folk have sent their Xs, I'm not sure if continued texting is helpful in the real world. I don't believe it helps you to heal, move on and establish your new life.

Anything in life is only as important as you want it to be. Why not stop making him important - taking up all that space in your head - and focus on your DCs. From experience, I know it can be hard to show your DCs your love when your stomach is knotted up with hate for some tosser Make them the focus, not him.

Vodkajellies · 24/10/2014 10:49

There would be no point in sending it he couldn't care less about what happens with our sons I mean if you can walk passed your children in the street then you are not a decent human being Hmm

moolady1977 · 24/10/2014 11:02

There are 2 texts I want to send but cant first one is

yes I love you and want to be with you but I cant face losing my kids and thats what would happen

I really do despise you and its only the fact my kids are here and believe ever piece of shit you come out that I haven't walked away and said see you in court, ,, yes I know you told them I dint love them , I also know you told them you loved me with all your heart but did you tell them the reason we fell apart and I mean your porn addiction

PoirotsMalevolentMoustache · 24/10/2014 11:21

All you need to do to see 'our' DS is follow through on one of the many 'I'm going down the legal route' threats you've made. You just need to show that you actually care about him enough to do something other than send the odd email saying how you pay CSA and therefore have rights and try to friend my family on FB. It doesn't cost much to apply for a court order - much less than your season ticket or new gaming console or holiday to the USA or the latest iPhone. You say you care, but you sure as hell don't act like it.

Not quite the same as most of the other things on this thread, but I can't say it elsewhere. Sorry to hijack and thank you. Flowers

Crushed2914 · 24/10/2014 11:35

I have thought about killing myself several times since learning of your filthy affair, I have developed post natal depression because of you, do you know how horrendous that feels. My precious first child & you have stolen this time from us. You want her over me & your newborn daughter. I gave you eleven years of my life, I worshipped you, helped you through losing your beautiful mum and this is what you choose to do to me! You say you love her, you've known her a few months! You were the love of my life & now I am nothing to you, you've killed the person I once was. I want nothing but misery for you, in fact I wish you'd just die.

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