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Is this appropriate?

4 replies

HeyHoHum · 17/10/2014 21:41

I split with my ex just after Xmas 2013 and we have 1 DC . We split cos he was a selfish arse and had emotional affairs so it's not like I'm his biggest fan. By the end I'd fallen out of love with him.

Regardless I was keen to maintain an amicable relationship for the sake of my DC and really wouldn't want to waste energy being hostile about the past. If it wasn't for my DC I wouldn't be friends and I am more than just civil, I'm friendly but only talk to him about DC really and never spend more than a few minutes with him at drop off / pick up. We do talk on phone but only about DC on the whole.

Anyway, my hands free kit in my car was playing up and I needed the receipt to get it fixed. We both bought one last year and they were on the same receipt. I mentioned it to him as I wasn't sure which one of us had the receipt for it. Anyway I'd arranged to go there today at 1ish, he rang me at work this morning (which is rare for him) and said he was in the car place (which sold and fitted hands free) did I want him to book it in? I said I'd already sorted it for this afternoon and then he told me that there was no one there til 5 to sort it and to go then. I got arsey as I was thinking why you trying yo sort my life out?? I mentioned it to a friend and they said he was just trying to be helpful? Then y do I feel so annoyed??

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 17/10/2014 22:16

You've worked very hard to reduce this person's influence in your life. You've managed to detach and you probably achieved that by reminding yourself of all the crappy stuff that happemed. Him doing something nice for you (and I think that's all it was) challenges that detachment a little. Makes him not the bad guy for a second

PlantsAndFlowers · 17/10/2014 22:28

When we've had a bad relationship with someone in the past then that can colour how we interpret what they say now, and sometimes be less charitable that we would with a stranger.

HeyHoHum · 17/10/2014 22:34

Yeah maybe it bugged me as surely it's a bit late to be the caring one now?

He does want to get back together, asks me now and then if there is any chance and I always say no....I think cos I haven't shown interest in meeting someone new he thinks there's still a chance??

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 17/10/2014 22:45

People who persist thinking they're in with a chance when they are not are pretty annoying, yes.

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