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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Problems with sex! HELP!!!! A bit long

3 replies

sum41sbombette · 11/04/2004 22:42

I feel a bit embarassed about talking bout this but I could do with peoples advice. My daughter is now 16 months, and I havent had sex since I was about 3 months preggie so thats a total of 22 months without sex. I have been with my bf (not the father) for 7 months and we've tried but its always been him with the problem (god i hope he doesnt read this lol!) but we managed to get him in without him losing it the other night.

Problem is when I gave birth, I had stitches and ever since have been worrying that it'll hurt when I finally get round to having sex again. I was actually suppose to have an operation as they stitched me up wrong and too tightly. But for some strange reason my bf seemed to sort out that problem (without going in2 2 much detail lol) so I didnt have the operation, plus I really didnt want to have it in the first place.

But when he managed to get in, it was so painful and I screamed, and not in the good way. I usually tense up when he comes near me, and I didnt tense up at all. He said he hardly got in and that it felt really tight. We tried again but again I almost screamed the house down cos it felt like a knife had just gone up me. Plus now I tense up because I know its going to hurt like hell. He suggested trying to get me use to him being there if you know what I mean, just so I can get use to it again, cos we think some of the problem is that as it has been 22 months and cos of the stitches, Im just going to be more sensitive and just need to get use to the feeling of something there again. Lol I cant believe Im saying all this lol!

Has anyone else had this problem or can anyone give me some advice on what can help?

Im lucky that he is in no rush for sex, as he is still a (virgin) (christ i really hope he doesnt read this!! lol) so he is being really understanding and patient. Me, on the other hand, have waited long enough!
HELP!

OP posts:
girlie · 11/04/2004 22:57

Hi
Sorry, have not experienced this problem, but it should not hurt like this no matter how long has passed. It sounds to me like you need that op - please do see a doctor at least and describe the pain. No woman (or man) should put up with this.

Chocol8 · 11/04/2004 23:01

My sister had this problem after she gave birth to her dd1. She said that the midwife had sat there stitching away saying "ooh when you do it, it's gonna hurt like hell - it'll be just like being a virgin again!".

She said it helped that her husband wasn't that well endowed, but the pain did ease up after about 6 times. She actually enjoyed it more as she had "more sensation" there.

KY is also a good idea ...lots of it! Good luck to you Sum and bless him for being so patient. :0

bobs · 11/04/2004 23:41

My only suggestions are to see your doctor, and if he says everything's fine, just needs practice, try a (small) dildo with loads of KY Jelly - try KY anyway - its great Good luck!

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