Don't know what to do

[Cindermummy]

IMO my oh has been treating me very badly for some time now all throughout my pregnancy right up till now baby is 8 weeks old . I lost my mother during my pregnancy and he wasn't there for me like I expected him to be . When I had our lo he didn't even take any time off work and I was expected to just pick up the reins from where I left off . In the first few days after giving birth I couldn't even eat properly or wash because I didn't have time and there was nobody around to help he would come home from work and go out to do his sports. I told him how I felt yesterday and he doesn't think he did anything wrong called me spoiled because I asked him why he didn't even get me a bunch of flowers after having our baby . Iv suggested going away for a weekend after Christmas but he doesn't want to because lo is still too young to be left with anyone but he has plans for a boys weekend for himself .I feel so miserable and sad I think this is it for us . Opinions welcome

Congratulations on the birth of your little one.

Your OH is treating you very badly indeed, and this appears to be long-term and consistent behaviour on his part. He's just not interested in being a partner to you, or a dad to his child, is he?

Are you interested in having such a man for a partner?

If someone is treating you as though you were a single mum, perhaps it's time to think about being one?

I can only imagine how his behaviour impacts you.

In his eyes life has to be exactly the same as always for him and everyone around should just readjust.

IMHO he won't change if he doesn't want to.
I would definitely go to stay with someone for some time. Do you have anyone at all you could ask for that favour?

My ex was miles better than yours, he used to come home and take over so at least I didn't feel I was 24/7 responsible for our dd. Despite that I was shattered for the first 6 months of her life. I think in my case breasfeeding was tiring me a lot and not getting enough sleep when baby slept.
I wish I had gone to stay with my family for few weeks as I was at wits end (ex was also studying his Masters during that year and wasn't home till after 10 on 2-3 nights a week term-time).

I think you are right . I don't really want to go stay anywhere else because I don't want to tell anyone else about this I asked him to leave yesterday and he said he would but I'm still waiting . I just feel so let down and angry that I have wasted so many years of my life with this man . I know I have to move on just don't know how I'm going to do it .

Guy is a prick, has shown you more than once he aint got your back and I'm afraid that speaks volume, you talk like he sees you and the child as nothing but an inconvenience to him.

I'd not be hanging about for more of it tbh, you'd better raising LO on your own and spending your spare time meeting a man that actually wants to spend time with you, he sounds like a right dick.

I don't really want to go stay anywhere else because I don't want to tell anyone else about this I asked him to leave yesterday and he said he would but I'm still waiting

Don't wait. Take action: either boot him out, or move out yourself.

Whose name is your home in?

Congratulations on your baby.

You could do with some support, the first few days/weeks/months with a new baby are very draining even when the partnership is good. Definitely go and stay with someone if have someone that can support you. That will be practical support and someone to share the joy of the new baby with. Don't be afraid of being open about the problem with someone in RL - it can only get better by talking.

He sounds clueless, assuming that he can do work and sport as thought nothing in his life has changed. How long have you been together? Is there anyone he could talk to about stepping up to the plate as a new dad? Have any of his friends become parents?

Please tell someone in RL, new mums need support, it's bloody hard work caring for a newborn without having to deal with a fucking pathetic man child also Do you have a good friend you could talk to?