Ended relationship but doesn't feel real..

[Serenitysmooth]

I've been in a relationship of sorts for 3.5 years.. This followed me divorcing ex after 13 years together. They are complete opposites..
In new relationship I felt pressured and smothered.. He is needy and insecure but I've stuck by him. We are just too different.. Approach things differently, view situations differently..
He almost became obsessed with me, like I am his only focus. Turning up at my house extremely anxious.. He can turn nasty..
I've ended it but I feel numb and it doesn't feel real. I'm feeling lost and just don't know where to go from here.. Strangely not many people know about this 'relationship' it's almost like I've been leading a double life, although not intentionally.. What has it been about? Loneliness as a single parent? I can't be the only one who has done this?! Help! How do I move forward?

Ok so it's Saturday and have all weekend with ds. So far all ok. My confidence feels at rock bottom, even going out I'm at times avoiding speaking to people. Feel numb but do feel more like me and not as crazy. I don't feel hatred towards him, just sad. I miss him.. I feel like I want to see him but to say sorry. Sorry I couldn't do it and sorry it went on for so long. At the same time I feel the pressure has lifted and I'm pleased not to be around his loudness and anxious personality.. Was clearly wrong for him. I do feel better but I don't know who me is anymore..

More time and more weekends like this doing stuff for you and for your DS will get you closer to knowing who you are again.

Your last post is full of talk of him, which is normal. Gradually the focus will shift toward filling your mind with thoughts of you, and your DS, and your own concerns and the things that you find fulfilling. And that is a much better use of your headspace!

Hope the weekend has been going well.