Getting my sex drive back.

[PiperIsOrange]

I have depression and anxiety, in which I am taking medication.

I can not remember the last time I have felt the urge to have sex and I feel like I push DH away from cuddles ect because I don't want to lead him on.

I do want to get my sex life back

DH is not pressuring me to have sex, but as you can imagine I think he does miss the physical side.

Hi piper, I usually only lurk but wanted to respond to your post, not that I have any wisdom to offer!

I have a very low sex drive which is made worse by anxiety and depression in the past they have both been affected by pressure from partners who think they can't manage without sex, this was the reason my first marriage ended in fact (I left him because him pressuring me to have sex killed my feelings for him). I'm glad that you are not experiencing that kind of pressure from your partner.

My DH does not pressure me which has made the world of difference to our relationship and my self esteem, but I really feel bad for him because I know that he enjoys the intimacy of sex, it's very much an emotional connection for him. I haven't fully found the answers yet but for us communicating about it has really helped, it has helped him to understand that the issue is with me and not that I find him unattractive and talking about it has helped us both know how the other feels. It also helps me not put pressure on myself to want sex because I know that he doesn't feel like it's his right or that I'm abnormal.

I don't know if this makes any sense or resonates with you, I can only share my feelings and experience. And finally to say that if you wanted get your sex drive back it will probably take both of you working together in some respect rather than you trying to "fix" it.

My understanding is that anti depressants can have that side effect. If this is the case, I don't suppose you can do anything while you're on that particular type. Can you mention it to your doctor and see if you could try something else? Maybe a different type of even try CBT while you're on them and gradually wean yourself off when you feel the CBT is helping you?

It happened to a friend of mine for the five years she was on them. She now is back to 'normal' after coming off them.

Tbh I don't want to come off the tablets as I have only been on them for 3 weeks and only just starting to feel like they are working.

If you are only just going onto the tablets they are unlikely to be the cause in this case. However as it is early days for the tablets you will probably need some time for them to start taking effect, the lift in your mood might help your sex drive but my suggestion would be to address your depression first and try not to worry about the sex aspect for a while. I know that's easier said than done but if one affects the other then addressing the route cause may help to improve your sex drive.