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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to get through to siblings without sounding harsh

1 reply

Firstpregnancy2014 · 14/10/2014 20:28

Basically we are a very close but quite small family.
Me (21), mum, dad, older brother (25)and both sets of grandparents
Brother has has a past of stealing and lieing- when he gets caught out he goes off on a tangent, rants, says things he regrets, makes out we're all in the wrong. Can't accept any responsibility for his actions. He has been under mental health care and in prison- but still doesn't accept help or change

12 weeks ago our grandma died (dad's mum). She died suddenly and we were heartbroken.
24 hours later my mum commited suicide.
Words can't explain the pain.

My brother has dealt with things ok however over the past week he is a nightmare. His dole has been stopped so no money for cigarettes

I am 35 weeks pregnant and working 38 hours a week. I was 23 weeks pregnant when my mum died and had to get through this.
Now I feel like I'm trying to protect my dad from my brother
He keeps saying stupid things like we are better off without him and that he is going to kill himself etc.
We have tried to nice and help and now I think tough love is the only approach left to try.
He knows how much pain we have all been through so I thought this would make him realise we're all in it together. His moods mainly revolve around his lack of money which is another reason I don't have a lot of sympathy

I sound so mean but I'm sick of my dad having to worry about him and sick of treading on eggshells incase I say the wrong thing :(

OP posts:
Andro · 14/10/2014 20:55

Does he have a mental health nurse? If he's had MH issues in the past, the double stressor could easily have been enough to cause further problems.

Samaritans are a good place to call for advice as are Cruise.

Do you think he'd actually attempt suicide? If you do then you should suggest he get help, if you think he's being a self centered jerk then tell him straight out that you know he's hurting but you're all hurting and you can't cope with him making it all about him. Unfortunately, you can only help him if he wants to be helped.

I'm sorry for your losses, things must be very tough for you right now.

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