How long did it take for you and DP/H/W to fall in love and how did you know?

[DefinitelyMaybeLove]

Just curious really. Can you fall in love too quickly? What is about the 'right' (average?) time? How did you know you were in love and who was the first to say it? How did you say it?

TIA

I think people fall in "love" three or four times during a relationship. Although obviously all relationships are different, so this is nothing but a generalisation.

The first is when you start getting to know them, and find them wonderful, or interesting, and just want to know as much about them as you can, and find an attraction between you.

The second is when you have been dating for six months or so, have got to know the person relatively well, and really respect who they are, enjoy being with them, and know that you want this person to be in your life for longer. This is when people normally say "I love you" from what I can tell.

The third is when you have been together for a period of years, probably lived with them, and know them very well. When your lives are intertwined to a degree and you feel like your life is better for it. You would do almost anything to make them happy, and you know they would do the same. Where you wouldn't ask anything hurtful of them, and they wouldn't either. At the moment where you think "I want to spend the rest of my life with this person in it" is the third and final time (in this shit analogy) that people fall in love. To me, this is real love.

I was certain that I loved my DP after a week, but looking back I barely knew him at the time.

oh I didn't answer your question, sorry.

er...when we first started talking - before we had even kissed - I remembered my partner said that people often said "I love you" too quickly, and it didn't mean anything other than the person was desperate for love. I remembered that, and that he had mentioned six months was a good barometer of when to say it.

So I deliberately didn't say it, but would say other things which don't really translate well into english. I noticed after about three months that he wasn't saying them back to me, and was worried he had lost interest, so I asked him about it. He said that he didn't want to say things like that, because he felt more for me than that, and told me that he loved me.

I said it back, because I had been wanting to say it for about a month anyway, lol.

I fell in love with my DP the first time we met - it felt like someone had hit me round the head with a frying pan, it was an actual physical shock. 2 1/2 years later and we're shortly moving in to a new house and trying for a baby together ??

I felt in lust first! I knew it was love after about 4months. He text me to say he was really ill and couldnt face going out for our planned 'date night'. Instead of being miffed (as i would have in my young selfish days) i went round to his. Spent my saturday night making him tea and toast, tucking him up in blankets and watching shite tv.
I've never done that for anyone else, so knew it was love!

Realised very quickly (first few dates) that something this time was different and special. At about 6 weeks in I realised I loved him but was too scared to tell him (but also scared I'd blurt it out!). The next night he said "Is it too soon to tell you I love you"

what probably said (only not with the same DP obviously) first moment I saw DP, I just felt wow - that was 20 years ago.

DP and I had known each other for two years before we went on our first date, so I knew that I liked him long before it was "official" and everything moved quickly because of that. We kissed on the first date, slept together on the third after an appropriate amount of time and I knew I loved him after a few weeks. We finally said it about three or four months in.

Falling in love is the easy part, it's trying to keep it going that's tricky!

cherrybomb is totally right - falling in love is easy, it's keeping it that is hard.

I'd second people who have said that something just felt different when I met my partner - I wouldn't say it was like a frying pan to the head, but I can totally understand the analogy.

I'd fallen in love before, but absolutely nothing like that.

DP and I had been friends for 5 years before we became a couple. We had both realised we had fallen for the other about a year before we got together but were both too scared too say anything! We said I love you about 6 weeks after becoming a couple.

I've just thought back to that time and we must have said it to each other about two months in, as I was still in my old job. Apparently I'm not as restrained as I thought

I fell in love easily, it's just difficult to keep that feeling in mind when I'm picking wet towels off the bed and moaning about him not wiping down the kitchen counters!

Oh, these stories are so lovely and making me .

I have a confession. My real reason for asking is because I'm wondering if I'm in love. I've been seeing a new guy for around 6 weeks and we've both been really surprised by how quickly things have developed between us.

I've been in love twice before now with men who turned out to be abusive but it felt very different with them and took around 3 to 4 months before I knew. He actually told me (without pressure to say it back) a few days ago and I said that I wouldn't say it to him until I was sure I felt it. Up until then I could feel myself falling and had very strong feelings but didn't quite feel 'in love'.

Since then I've been thinking about it more. It aches not to be with him and the thought of things going wrong gives me a pain in the pit of my stomach. Does this mean I do in fact love him?

I think I'm wary because of how quickly things are moving and I have my eyes wide open looking for red flags but I think (and hope) I've met one of the really good guys. He's also been a little bit taken aback and freaked out about how well we've connected. These stories here are making me think that it's not all in my head and that actually yes, I have fallen in love.

I had lusted after H for a while. But I was aware he probably thought I wasn't looking for a relationship. To be honest I fell in love with him as a friend. I had to make it clear I was only interested in a 'proper' relationship with him before I could trust myself to throw myself into an 'other than friends' relationship (due to how we knew each other). I became steadily more attached despite having to keep some distance (I have dd from a previous relationship). Fortunately this growing love was experienced by both of us.
The reassuring part of our relationship was his complete preparedness to go at the pace I needed for my DD. And it didn't matter after a while that we didn't live together because we just knew thst's where we were going.

My DP is actually my first love - albeit we had a decade gap between our first relationship and this time round.

When we were young it was much more innocent (we did have sex but not for 2 years !!!) this time round it was an instant and complete 'want to consume you' from the moment we met again.

On the first night we sat up until daybreak talking. I would say within weeks I was pretty sure about being madly in love with him [again]. We didn't vocalise it for a while though?

I don't think there is a set amount of time? But yes it needs to be reciprocal

I used to speak to DH every day on the phone even though we were 300 miles apart. We also emailed a lot and finally met after about 6 months.

I think we were already in love but we said it on our second date, moved in together after 9 dates and have been together 15 years.

I just couldn't imagine ever wanting anyone else, it was so easy and lovely.

I have seen on many occasion where posters are aghast that someone could ever profess to be in love after 4 months, for example. I think every relationship is different and you can't put a one size fits all timescale on it.

Dp and I had been the centre part of a venn diagram of friends for years - I was sort of friends with his friends, he was sort of with mine. We never met up independently of these friends but often spent time in a large group.
We always got on so so well, as friends and I often thought "in another life..." type things about him but we were both in LTRs and though on an evening out we could talk about anything, it wasnt flirty.
They broke up first. Didnt even cross my mind that he was single.
A year or so down the line, my relationship broke down and around the same time our group met up.
It was a bang from that second - it was like we'd just found what we had been missing from our lives. It made sense that for years we'd got on so well - so (getting to the point) we fell in love straight away.
Not sure how far in we said it - but the mutual admiration we'd held for each other wasnt able to stay under the surface any more.

2 years in (which I know isnt long by some people's standards!) and we are very happy still. He still dazzles me every time I see him - I still get genuine butterflies.
Hoping to move in together before too long.