Sorry this is long.
I have a "friend". She went through a tough time last year with a very nasty divorce, following her husband having numerous affairs through their 25 year marriage, being both emotionally and violently abusive as well as a really unpleasant person.
I was supportive - did everything you'd expect, like listen while she ranted on, we went off on a girls weekend with another good friend, helped with divorce paperwork etc, etc.
She then started sleeping around with numerous married men 20 years younger than her and telling me about it as she wanted my approval for it.
I was totally the wrong person to ask as a) I am very happily married and b) am pregnant by the man I am happily married to.
I eventually got fed up her behaviour and I told her I wasn't going to tell her what she wanted to hear and told her to get a grip, pull herself together and sort herself out. I did it "Diplomatically" (which was a novelty for me) as I figured she was in a rough place.
She stropped off because I eventually told her I didn't agree with her behaviour. She didn't speak to me for months. She then invited herself for the weekend and because she "was" a good friend, I said yes. She flirted like hell with DH all weekend (DH bless him was diplomatic, but very embarrassed) did the whole "Vulnerable, single, helpless lady" act, drove me insane and I ended up saying something to her. I wasn't very polite.
She stropped off, and ignored me for 4 months. I decided not to re-initiate contact, because frankly I can't be arsed with friends who openly constantly flirt with DH (even though I trust him implicitly), and who take offence easily and go off in a strop when I say something they don't like. Plus, up to that point every time we'd had a conversation, she was very "me, me, me" and she wasn't remotely interested in how I was, what we had going on, how things were. Conversations were all very one sided. So I just dropped contact and didn't bother to phone or contact her.
She found a new group of friends and a hobby she really enjoyed and it seemed everything was going well for her. She made no effort to contact me, which suited me down to the ground. I've not heard from her since the whitsun bank holiday in May.
Yesterday I felt very sorry for myself as DH & I are having a stressful time (the joys of farming!) and posted a FB status accordingly. I generally just wanted to hide under the duvet. This is not normal for me - usually my FB feed is just full of various cat photos and drivel.
About 15 minutes ago, I got an out of the blue FB message from friend along the lines "Are U OK hun, really worried, will ring tomorrow so you can tell me all about it".
What is the best way for me to deal with this? I have nothing to say to her. I'm certainly not going to discuss personal stuff with her - my close friends are the ones I share that with, and quite frankly, I will probably ignore her call, but then she'll pester and pester and probably contact mutual friends "to make sure I'm OK"- one of whom she knows is very likely to know what is going on as they are best friend. She can be quite a "drama llama", making it all about her with the whole barrage of texts/calls along the lines of "R U OK, you're not answering calls" etc, etc. If I don't respond. (Form for this in the past). It's tedious.
I would go as far as to say that this person has been firmly put into "someone I know" category, rather than "friend" category, if that makes sense? How do I deflect? Ideas? I don't want to be really rude, as she's had a rough time and is fundamentally a nice person - just a bit off the rails at the moment. Help?