a thank you would be nice

[typingtoofast]

My dp's phone has been acting up. It is driving him mad. But hasn't had the chance to do anything about it.
We don't live together so this is our means of contact when apart. We have our times we ring and cute texts we send and it keeps the relationship going when apart. So it has been harder when you can't communicate as much. dp is particularly careful with his money at the moment. Can be very tight at spending. However he would spend it on particular items for a hobby of his. But i have accepted this. HIs money so he can do as he pleases, even if a little warped at times in my mind. His hobby can drive me mad as it can take priority in his life and I feel at times I am down the list of priorities. HOwever I keep busy and try not to feel a little hurt at times.

So he has a birthday coming up and this morning I decided to purchase him a new phone.
I rang and left a message on his voicemail telling him I had purchased new phone and to hang in there he'll have a new one in two days.
I knew he was doing his hobby for some portion of the day today so didn't worry to much that he didn't ring back.
I rang this evening as hadn't heard from him. I asked if he had got my voicemail and he said he had. That he hoped it was a handy enough phone. I replied it was similar to his own and that it was as an early birthday present.
Now I am aware this is a man who doesn't like to show much emotional gratitude or feelings. I get over that. But I couldn't help but feel a little put out that he never picked up the phone to thank me or acknowledge it. It's actually bothering me now so much that I feel taken for granted. I can't think of a reason or an excuse where he couldn't have picked up the phone for 1 min to show appreciation/gratitude.
Am I expecting too much? Or is this a sure sign that I'm being used!

I don't want to feel like this. It goes for a while where everything fine and then i feel his priorities take over and I'm shoved down the list. It's v hard to tell someone that they are taking you for granted without sounding needy. As theyre in a frame of mind where they don't realise it. He would be stubborn to admit his faults.
I did mention this morning that I was v dissapointed in no awknowledgement and that recently i have been feeling v unappreciated. His lack of interest and selfishness lately is effecting how I feel about him. He replied that he didn't mean to and apologised. He said he had bought me a lovely dress online on saturday and it was a suprise to make me smile.
I sort of feel bad now. But I still feel that my reasons are valid and it isn't about buying things,dont' exactly need a dress per say and would prefer to be treated better rather than given a gift. for me it wasn't about the purchasing of the phone. it was about knowing he was in need of it and making life easier for him.

Non-needy way to tell someone they are taking you for granted.

'If you keep pushing me down your priorities, showing me no appreciation and taking it for granted that when you say 'jump' I'll say 'how high' then there's no future in this relationship'.

You can add 'you bastard' for effect

does your oh have the entitlement attitude in that feels hard done by , by the world and his mother alot?

Be a bit careful about people like this. They can end up very bitter and suck the life out of you. Not saying your partner is like this yet (though he doesn't really sound a charmer) but just keep an eye on it.

A lot of people have had difficult mothers and rough knocks in life ... you choose how you deal with it, and becoming bitter for more than a short time is deeply unattractive.

He is putting more thought into that hobby than you. Taking you for granted and indulging in a moan-fest? Stop giving him leeway. Start by becoming less available. You're not living together. Who normally makes the first move to get together? Do you always sleep over? Maybe he thinks he's home and dry.

Mentioning something more than once isn't nagging. Raising topics that are uncomfortable is tricky but avoiding issues for fear of rocking the boat just means you end up frustrated. Some people are very skilled at deflecting subjects when they know that the outcome entails more work - emotional or physical - for them. You need to ask yourself whether all the effort is coming from you.

Well done for broaching this with him. Now new dress or not, be a little less accommodating. Buying presents to make up for brattish behaviour is too easy.