Just realised I'm better off without him

[allthefuckingnicknamesaretaken]

Just over a year ago I managed to end a long, unhappy marriage. We'd been together 15 years, but I realised a few years ago I was being controlled and had all my confidence bullied out of me. With some amazing friends I built myself up and after a traumatic few months at the end he left when he realised I wasn't going back to the 'old' me. Both me and the dcs are doing well and they seem happier and more relaxed.

Not long after, I started seeing a man I had known a while. He's completely different to exh. Fun, romantic, passionate and pretty cool. I've had an eye opening year, learning loads about myself and relationships. But we argue, fiercely and regularly. He is jealous of everyone I speak to, I have issues with the amount of time he spends with his ex (rightly or wrongly).

I'm aware I sound pathetic and childish about that. In so many ways he's been the best thing that's ever happened to me. But I'm too old for this nonsense.

It flared up again yesterday but rather than being upset or angry (I've been angrier and more upset at him than ever in my life I think) I feel sort of calm. Resigned to the fact I need to move on. It's probably for the best that I do, but I'm so scared I'll be weak and fall back into the relationship. We work together so cutting ties completely is impossible, which is probably how we've got this far. I want to stay strong. I want to do this. I guess I just need someone to hold my hand through it all.

He sounds like he was probably a rebound thing. Probably not a conscious decision but one that's happened none the less.

It doesn't have to be a bad break up, just tell him that you need time on your own to get back to 'you' before you get into anything serious with anyone at all.

He might be feeling the same way?

Thanks for your replies.

Rebound makes it sound so trivial. It never felt like that. I was completely and utterly head over heels, besotted. As was he. We were like teenagers. it made me want to vomit at times! It feels like such a waste.

And yes, I think he feels the same too. He said a few weeks ago that our relationship is destructive. We seem to be tearing each other apart despite loving each other to bits.