Some of you may have already read my post on here before. Me and DH were trying to conceive, until we had a discussion where I brought up moving away to the country side as being better for the kids (my DS who is 4, his DD who is 7 here weekends)
Despite the fact it was a thought, he took it as gospel and that I had already decided, and then started the shouting. Despite the fact I could have already been pregnant at that stage (a few days before period due) to yell at me during the school run "if your pregnant you can abort it"
After about a week of constant shouting, saying I didn't care about him or his daughter, he seemed to take every opportunity to yell at me and make me feel bad for thinking that. I decided that maybe it would be better to stay living in the area we were in.
There have been several issues since then. Many arguments where he says he doesn't know if he wants a baby, but is quite happy to attempt to have sex with me without a condom. When I stopped sex half way through the act after he had entered me without protection on, I got yelled at questioning his judgement. He said he would have pulled out so he wasn't going against what I said. I pointed out that I could still fall pregnant, and he said that's what abortions for.
A week after that, brings us to last night. We had sex, he wouldn't listen to me about using protection, and eventually finished in me. I thought maybe he had changed his mind about the baby issue. So asked him, he said he hadn't. Then refused to talk to me about it further. Ignoring me, and whatever I said.
I cried, and he moaned. Using his weight to pin me onto the bed with his fist balled into my side to hold him up, so he could climb over me, He doesn't need to, he could have walked around the side of the bed. He then took my pillows of the bed and threw them into the other room saying I was sleeping on the sofa.
When I protested, he then took the duvet and mattress of the bed and into the lounge for him to sleep on. Leaving me wooden bed slates, and a pillow. He then came to the door with his phone videoing me, I asked him to stop saying I didn't want to be on the video with tears all down my face.
He started saying I hope I enjoy police cells because he was calling the police, and started asking me why I kicked him. I didn't, then he sulked of to the kitchen to have a fag. That's the last I remember before I fell asleep.
I'm know up with the children, the same children I am not fit to look after while he snores. I have been on the womens aid website, but he hasn't actually hit me.
Is it abuse? I feel silly, like no one will believe me. Help please?