Separate bedrooms - anyone else?

[Somethingtodo]

I really cant stand sharing a bed with my dh - relationship is is at a very low point - and I sleep like an ironing board at the edge of our bed. He also snores and I hate the close physicality of him .... time for separate bedrooms - but how do you explain this to the kids. There are no spare bedrooms in our house -- only option would be swapping 8 year old daughter into our bed and putting him in her room...? How do other manage it?

You sound like you don't like your own husband. Why are you together?

Is this the end? If it's not then separate bedrooms will soon make it become so. If it is, then you need to make a proper break and he should find somewhere else to live.

I think separate bedrooms are really a bad idea unless you're still very much in love and it's only for practical reasons.

My ex used to sleep on couch due to horrendous snoring that could still be heard from downstairs !! We were just honest with kids though, perhaps you could say snoring !?

You just say that Mum and Dad are having separate beds because they sleep better alone.

Agree with pp though - do you still want to be in this relationship. Hating having him close isn't a good sign.

If it was just actually sharing a bed then I would suggest separate beds in the same room (a la dick van dyke show) if its separate rooms you want then really its time to call it quits.

I don't think you can make an 8 yo sleep in your bed to allow you to be apart from your husband. You need to consider if the relationship can go forward. If you don't split and don't sleep together I think one of you needs to take the sofa.

Yep separate beds here and it's lovely.

OH has insomnia and thrashes about in the middle if the night for sometimes hours. It used to affect me so badly I burst into tears one morning having had just a few hours sleep all night as we had an early start due to a house move.

When we moved into the new house I moved into the spare room and now we both sleep fine. I think OHs insomnia was worse because he was anxious about waking up and disturbing me and I would be anxious about him waking up etc.

So I really think it depends on the situation. If you are moving into a separate bed because you can't bare to be physically close to your OH then that really doesn't bode well for your relationship.

We have separate bedrooms. He snores badly and lack of sleep equals migraine for me.
Have been like this for 8 years, our relationship is as strong as ever.

I still love my husband though, we sleep apart for my health.

Yes, the separate bed/room thing is not really the issue is it. The OP clearly dislikes her DH which is at the root of this.

We've has separate rooms for a couple of years now and we explain it to the kids by telling the truth - DH snores like a train and I couldn't cope with the lack of sleep. So use that reason if it's at least partly the truth, and move your DD in with you - but in your case, it's not a long-term solution, is it?

All these posts highlight a very striking difference.

It is fine to have separate beds when for whatever medical reason a couple cannot share.

It doesn't seem fine to want a separate bed because you hate being close to your husband. That screams relationship problems to me.

Yep as I said the relationship is at a low point - might well not recover. I am not in a position to sell up the family home/separate atm - so this could be a transition. I need sleep and proper rest to revive and allow me to think straight.

Say you need to sleep better. Sounds true. But take it in turns to sleep on the sofa don't make your daughter share a bed with anyone!

I think it's really unfair that DD will be kicked out of her room and have someone else sleeping in her bed because you two are having problems.

If you want to sleep separately, one of you goes on the couch.

Your DD will hate loosing her space and that will become more of an issue in a relatively short time. Could you compromise on twin beds in the same room?

Good point about my daughter - not a long term solution....but she would initially see it as a treat as she always asks to sleep in our bed.

Don't involve your daughter in your relationship problems. That's all I think.

Good point salt