Can anyone give me some perspective on my life because I feel like I'm about to mess it up 
I split up with my exh last July after 23yrs, 2 dcs 12 & 8. Amicable enough split, he couldn't handle family life, had several EAs etc. Now on reasonably good terms, kids stay at his once or twice a week.
Met new guy shortly after exh left. In hindsight far too soon but clung to him as he made me feel very happy. He was (is) kind, caring, funny. He understands my situation and we usually see each other once at the weekend and he sometimes pops round once in the week.
My problem is that I CONSTANTLY worry about the dcs and how they will cope with me meeting someone else. I didn't let him meet them until we'd been seeing each other for 7 mths. He's never stayed over while they're here and we haven't been out with them because it just doesn't feel 'right' to me. It's only been 15mths since me & their dad split and I can't see that I'd feel comfortable doing things as a 'new' family for a very long time yet, if ever.
New guy is really understanding and has never put any pressure on me but I'm starting to feel terrible because I really don't know where this is leading.
If I didn't have children, I'm sure we would have discussed moving on with our relationship (I've known him for a year now) but as it is we've never mentioned it and are still just spending odd days together as and when we can.
I feel like I'm leading him along a path and I've really not thought where it will lead. He loves me & I really love him. But how can we have a real relationship while I feel like this?
I also feel like I'm always letting him down. He doesn't have kids or any real family so he sees friends quite a lot and often asks me out for drinks with them, or just to go out for a meal with him etc. He's always had a reasonably busy social life & now he's met me he says he wants to share it with me.
I love going out with him too but I often have to turn him down because i have no childcare other than exh and he changes his plans quite a lot. Again new guy is always understanding & never pressures me but he doesn't understand the constant guilt I feel. Guilt that my kids will hate me for meeting someone else. Guilt at telling him I've got to change our plans again. Guilt at going out without the kids.
Ive spent the last 12 years since having the dcs not really going out much, both through lack of childcare and later because exh just didn't want to. Pre-dcs we did go out all the time and while it's nice to start it again, I'm really struggling to adjust.
I'm thinking of calling it a day because it's getting too stressful. I'm clearly not ready for this relationship. But it will break both of our hearts and I know he will say he wants to carry on seeing me regardless. He makes me so happy, and he really likes me too. But can we really carry on like this for possibly years until the dcs are older?
Do I finish it now and concentrate on being mum to my kids? I don't think I'll meet someone as nice as him again, he really is a good guy. But trying to keep up a new relationship and look after the dcs is too stressful and I'm on the verge of breaking down over it. What do I do?