fucked off with DH, long, sorry

[redwinerequired]

We have the same arguments and I'm fed up.

I'm going to try and keep this brief or else you'll all be bored! Our parents do all our childcare, we're very lucky and I try not to take the piss. He has to get 2 dc ready, age 4 and 2 for 8.20. Parents arrive around 8 ish and frequently kids aren't ready, they still need to get dressed, but also he's not ready to leave house, and now complaining he's been late for work. I said he needed to get up earlier, currently after 7. I leave between 6.45 and 7, he doesn't like getting up, never has been an early bird. Anyway, huge row and him saying he can't do this as he'll be tired. I should add he goes to bed late.

I'm also pissed off at him not clearing up after himself. I bath kids, he does dinner, but he does just leave the mess.

Third argument finances, he spends every day it seems on extra food and drink. This month he spent £75 in smiths and about £120 in petrol stations, not on petrol.

We've spoken so many times about all of these issues. It gets better for a while or he just argues that he was stressed that month, then it so goes back.

I'm just resigned and fed up and have no idea how to talk about this anymore.

If you've got this far thank you, if you've got any suggestions for me, even better.

Do your parents report back that he is not ready? Its his issue, they should discuss it with him, not you. Him being late for work - just don't engage, he's a grown man.

What do you do aside from bath? (just curious as I'd like your set up!)

If he cooks, should you not clear up? Thats sort of normal....or is the mess horrendous, eg every pot and pan out?

£120 in petrol stations?? On what? If you do a big net shop he shouldn't need to??

Not sure if this is helpful.

They've made their feelings known, and he just says they have been difficult that morning. My mum hates confrontation, dad comments but DH ignores, DH mum does tell him to hurry up but she doesn't like to upset anyone.

I would happily clear up, but the mess is awful, he doesn't clear up as he goes. He cooks lovely meals but a bit too elaborate, take ages and uses a lot of stuff.

I do everything from 5 til bed during the week. I do all the cleaning and laundry, school stuff, sort finances, basically everything else except the cooking.

We do a big shop, costs 120 ish per week, he has a petrol station opposite work and gets snacks, magazines, drinks.

Total waste of cash!

If he's cooking and your doing everything else, he really should clear away too. What would happen if you just left the kitchen and dining room all week? I dare you to do an experiment next week. As long as you are pulling your weight in other areas he shod really cook and clean.

The only other option is to swap jobs. He cooks, you bath, he reads stories and does the laundry, you clean dishes away.

Can you set an alarm for 6.50? Leave It under the bed and slightly inaccessible.

Total waste I agree, it really pisses me off.

If i left it for a week there would be mountains of it. Sometimes there is, and he will do it then, but that takes ages at the weekend. I might try to leave it and see what happens, I doubt he'll do the floor!

If he does any aspect of bedtime, kids go to bed late, they get over excited and he winds them up by mucking about with them, then wonders why they won't go to bed. When DD started school I said I didn't want him doing bed as she needs her sleep.

I don't think he knows how to use the washing machine!

That made me laugh figgie! Tempting but I reckon he would get cross!