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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've left, what now?

4 replies

mumof2wonderfulboys · 10/10/2014 12:55

Posted here before but not included the link as I've no idea how to (was 'Am I expecting too much' under the user name oldandexhausted and a post in aibu)

General opinion from you lot was not to put up with it, finally I could stand his attitude no more and last Sunday I fled! I didn't sleep Saturday night, took the time to pack all of my bits that were of value to me and I knew would be sold or thrown out if I left, I also packed our trailer with all the camping equipment and on Sunday morning a friend with a van turned up to 'help me clear some rubbish,' He and another friend loaded his van, I left a note on the kitchen table and I ran, I was woefully unprepared, I've left so much of importance behind. (Including most of sons favourite toys) everything was unloaded at a container locally that I had hired the day before and he took me to a campsite I had already chosen, by he time we got there, there were another 8 people who had answered his call for help. By the time they left everything had been done for me and the boys and I were safe and warm in our tent, I couldn't have done it without them, I was a wreck. Monday I contacted the council and they referred me to a refuge, by the time the application was processed I finally arrived here Wednesday morning. Wednesday I felt awful, yesterday was better and I felt happy, today I'm back to sad again and feeling I've made a terrible. mistake and thrown my marriage away :(.

OP posts:
Quitelikely · 10/10/2014 13:00

What made you leave OP, don't give yourself a hard time. To take your kids and leave without mentioning it to your dh I'm assuming you felt a little scared or worried by his reaction?

Quitelikely · 10/10/2014 13:03

And you ask what now, well the world is your oyster. You can go where you want, with who you want and do what you want!

Do you work? If not you could go to college and retrain in a career that you love. You also need to apply for maintenance.

Is your ex going to be seeing the kids? If so you will get a break, nice you time to relax.........

whitsernam · 10/10/2014 13:11

Link here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a2186564-Am-I-expecting-too-much#49552737

Sounds like you're well out of it. Hope the refuge gives you great help and support!! They have done really well by several other posters I've read over time.

Stay strong, and do take care of yourself in addition to taking care of your two children.

What a fabulous job you did getting organized and getting help to get out! I'm in awe of you.

Redhead11 · 10/10/2014 13:12

You've done the hardest part - left. Now take a deep breath and take one day at a time. Get some legal advice. Make sure you are getting any benefits you are entitled to. Chat to citizens' advice. Keep talking to your friends and family as they will give you the support you need. you are stronger than you think and you will find that you will feel much, much better once you know where you stand.

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