Divorce advice

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Hello, I have my own bad marriage thread on here, but wanted to ask a question for a friend. He is a bloke and he doesn't want to have mumsnet account
Most of us r female here but maybe somebody can advice.
Anyway.... He is nearly 40 and got 3 children with his wife. They don't love each other anymore and dont even wear wedding rings. Haven't been a "real couple" for few years.
He finally decided that the situation at home is no longer good for Anybody and wants a divorce.
Problem is the wife is being unreasonable, nasty and blackmailing him. She said that she will Never give him a divorce because she is very religious and its Against her beliefs, she said that she will get full custody of the children and he wont see them much, she will get big child meintenance and icing on the cake being that she will put on divorce pappers name of his best friend(!) as a woman he was cheating on her with.

Now after all this he is scared to get divorced! He loves his kids, he earns avarage money and he doesnt want to put his best friend is a deep shit either. He is a good, decent man. Any advice? Experience

Anybody?

I think he needs to see a solicitor , it's not all a easy as she is making out .

Child maintenance is paid at a prescribed amount so she can't necessarily get "big" money. There is a website which will tell him how much if he googles it

His wife is not necessarily unreasonable in not wanting to divorce on religious grounds.

Whether he is cheating or not will make no difference to the finance arrangements - but from a divorce point of view he would be able to get divorced more quickly on the grounds of adultery rather than having to wait 2 years - not in her favour! Telling lies will just get found out eventually and I can't really comment on that one.

Your friend should get legal advice urgently. It's unfortunate if his DW is planning to be hostile because ultimately that will just make the process more stressful and more expensive. He needs to get well informed and prepare the ground very carefully.

Even when someone has ACTUALLY cheated, it's very hard to prove it for a divorce, and even with proof it's bog standard legal advice that you don't name the other party.

So what if she alleges it anyway? No-one sees the divorce papers.

If he wants to divorce for unreasonable behaviour, he can add "unfounded accusation of affair" or "threat to falsely accuse of affair during divorce proceedings".

He should speak to a solicitor.

Thank u for your replies.
On direct.gov.uk it says that:
If you name the person your husband or wife was unfaithful with, they will get copies of the paperwork.

There is a section straight away to fill the details of the "OW"

Its a bit disturbing. Also he is scared that he wont see kids much. Biggest worry.

With respect, he has to get proper advice specific to his individual case rather than checking websites or asking message boards. Some solicitors offer a free initial consultation.

My experience of divorce (which is limited) is that there is remarkably little importance attached to fault. Doesn't affect the financial settlement for example

Are you the best friend and worried about being named? I actually did divorce my ex on grounds of adultery but very sadly was not allowed to name other party. There was a long story up to that point and I was not being vindictive.

No, I'm not the best friend, but I wouldnt be happy to be the OW.
I'm in a mess in my own marriage but in my case there is no adultery, religion issues etc.so I think I'm in a better situation. Anyway, thank u for your replies.

Most solicitors offer a free consultation, he needs that and then he can stop panicking. It doesn't actually matter if someone had an affair in the marriage on financial terms or child custody, makes zero difference. You can also contest the grounds of divorce if someone lies when they make the petition. His ex would have to then prove he had had an affair which will presumably be impossible and would cost her a lot of money to be going back and forth to her solicitor. He should however keep a record of anything said in writing in case of problems later.