How important is kissing to you? (start of a new relationship)

[kissesnomore]

I met a guy od, we went out for more than a few weeks, then he said he was looking for true love, didn't think he'd found it with me, and ended things. He said the fact that he wasn't really into kissing me was a clue that he was thinking like this.

We did have a few passionate kisses (snogs) when we first went out, and when dtd, but only pecks in the last few days of the 'relationship'.

We carried on seeing each other as fwb, no kissing, I wasn't bothered as it was purely a fwb situation.

We then realised we did have feelings for each other, enjoyed being together and didn't want to not see each other and decided to become a couple again.

My problem is, still no proper big snogs! I've asked him about it, he says he's not into sloppy wet kisses, so I can't keep going on about it, it's granny pucker up type kisses, or again proper kissing when dtd.

I've never come accross this before, and always enjoyed fabulous kissing with exes.

Do I need to face facts that he's just not that into me? Are some guys really not into kissing? I'm missing it big time, it's really odd. Am I being childish expecting snogs at my age at the new beginning of a relationship? Kissing is really important to me, I've just realised. What do you think?

Its not that important to me. DH and I have never snogged, and it is something I hated with previous boyfriends. I can't stand sloppy, tongue in mouth type kisses. The trouble is, it is something that you like, and are already missing, which suggests to me that the two of you may not really be compatible, if he does not like it.

Kissing is the best bit of physical stuff in a relationship for me, not only is it fun it's also a way of connecting whenever the urge takes you.

He may not be into big sloppy kisses, but did he take onto board that you obviously are, after discussing it with him? His needs aren't the only ones in the relationship.

Some people aren't into kissing. Personally I love nothing more than a good snogging session! If you enjoy it then hold out for someone who likes the same thing. Compatibility is everything.

I love kissing. Unfortunately DH is asthmatic/nose issues and he tells me that sometimes he feels like he is drowning kissing me. And not in a good way.

I make him kiss me a lot, nevertheless, and when we're shagging, I drown him.

We both feel we have compromised on this.

The line "He said the fact that he wasn't really into kissing me was a clue that he was thinking like this" suggests that it's not so much that he's not into kissing itself, but that it was kissing YOU that he wasn't into. Sorry if that sounds mean.

It sounds like an incompatibility in the way that you kiss or perhaps just a lack of that pheromone connection you get from getting so close to someone you really hit it off with. I love breathing in DP's breath and getting the scent of his top lip when we're kissing and he says he loves kissing me no matter what time of day it is, even with morning breath (bleurgh!) as he loves the smell and taste of me.

It could just be a chemical thing that he's not sensing it from you, or it could be that perhaps it's something you've eaten or you haven't brushed your teeth recently that is putting him off?

A male friend of mine advised while dating not to have orange juice to drink on a date as it makes your breath smell like vomit! He had a good female friend who he said he quite fancied and used to go to dance classes with, but he couldn't imagine kissing her as he breath was so bad after she had orange juice.

We rarely snog now but in the early days it was all about snogging, although it usually led to sex (maybe that's why we don't snog now - we don't have the time for sex lol)

Flex - have you really never snogged your husband?

I love kissing and it's really important to me. I couldn't imagine a sexual relationship without kissing.

Nope, we kiss, hug, and shag, a fair bit, but don't snog. Luckily it is something we agree on

It's very important to me as it helps me feel really connected to the person. Plus I have always found personally that if the kissing isn't good the sex won't be either.

My exh wasn't really a big fan of kissing, said he couldn't see the point in it and you might as well just have sex! Note he is my ex!

I think a good snogging session just for the sake of it is awesome!

If someone is a s bad kisser, it instantly puts me off.

There's a halfway house between big sloppy wet ones and tight little granny kisses.

I'm guessing he just doesn't like your kissing style all that much, sorry, in the heat of the moment it's ok for him but otherwise, no. Try reining it in a little bit?

I like loads of kisses and hugs, any kiss is good. i like long passionate kisses when dtd and just short ones through the day, like pecks. lots and lots of little pecks when you're not expecting them is better than sloppy wet ones when you're hoovering!

My sympathies here Op, my ex wasn't into kissing either and I saw it as the ultimate rejection.

When I brought the subject up with him he said it was because he was a smoker and I wasn't and it made him extremely conscious of his breath.

His breath never bothered me but the no kissing was a deal breaker.

Thanks for all your replies. Yes I think kissing is a way of connecting with the person you are kissing, just to feel close, and it might lead on to other stuff, or not. I didn't realise how important this was to me as I have never come across a man that doesn't like it before, or indeed complained about my kissing.

Obviously I've asked myself if I'm doing something wrong. I know he doesn't like sloppy kisses, fair enough, and he does have big synus issues, but he's said he's been complimented on his kissing in the past, so maybe it is me. I always make sure my breath is fresh though!

I am beginning to see it as rejection, especially considering the odd way we've got together. He said he sees kissing as more imtimate than dtd.....I did ask him if it was just me he didn't like kissing, and he said 'don't even think it' , but what else am I supposed to think?

"It's in his kiss" for me. If I didn't feel all woozy when we first met and kissed I wouldn't have continued.

For me kissing is very important, and very good foreplay for the real action.

I agree that there is a compatibility issue here. but I couldn't get on with a man who didn't like a good snog!

I hate French kissing, hubby knows it but he loves it. It grosses me out, I've never enjoyed it and if I could guarantee no tongues I'd snog more. There's always that thought in the back if my mind though

It's not you. I'm sure your technique, breath, etc, is fine. Its never been a problem in the past, right? It's him.

Now you've got to decide if that's something you can live with or not....

My DH doesn't have the best technique when it comes to snogging and so we don't do it very often and I'm not that fussed.

I confess that I do occasionally think about what it was like to snog my ex that relationship was just pure lust though.