how to get over the guilt feeling?

[vodkanchocolate]

Hello, im hoping for some advice off people who do not know me or my husband. I dont want to go into too many details really but earlier this year we suffered a bit of a rough patch I had been feeling incredibly low since having my 5th child, felt like I needed a bit of freedom so started a part time job - which ive now left. I got very friendly with a guy there and there was obvious flirting from him which ill be honest I enjoyed the attention I did try not to give him the reaction he was after which worked for a while.

Our marriage as always been pretty good had a few ups like anything else but celebrating both our birthdays and enjoying a rare child free night we both got absolutely hammered, an old friend of mine was out with us and came back to stay the night we stayed up drinking some more and chatting. I remember her been all touchy feely with husband in the run up to us going to sleep, although he wasnt doing anything back he wasnt stopping it either. The next day he told me she asked him to sneak downstairs when I was asleep. Was so upset and we argued because I felt like he was encouraging her by letting her keep hugging him etc, I started to wonder if anything else had happened once I was passed out although pretty sure it didnt Ive always had this niggle that something may of. He ended up on sofa for over a week just because I was so angry.

At work I confided in the guy Id been chatting to alot and I actually believe now that he stirred a little bit to try and make me see things worse by putting more ideas in my head. A few days later he made a pass at me which I gave into, we never had full sex although he wanted to I couldnt go through with it but came close.

Im racked with guilt and I dont know what I should do, I cant tell my husband I know ive left it too long this happened in March time. The guy and I spoke snd he agreed it was a mistake and to be fair to him hes not made any deal of it, we spoke at work that was it but I left my job in August as I kept feeling the guilt so much and I was starting to feel really attracted to him. Things are all good again with husband and have been for a while now so not going to rock the boat but I have no idea how I can stop the guilt. What happened was so out of character for me

Thank you for reading i know its a bit longer than I though it would be

I also cant get the other niggle about my ex friend and husband, im kind of hoping something did then we are quits

Telling DH won't help-it may relieve your guilt but will make him feel shit. You just need to accept that you made a mistake and move on-yes you will feel guilty but it will ease over time and you will soon not let this one thing over shadow a good marriage. See a counsellor alone if talking to someone objective will help.
Learn from it and move on x

I doubt your husband would have told you what this friend had said had anything happened.

Guilty people tend to not breathe a word so as not to draw attention to themselves. They also tend to project onto others; you know, judging others by their own standards and all that.

But then, you know that already.

hiya, thank you for replying. I am not after any form of sympathy I actually do hate myself right now. Councilling I dont think would work for me Ive been on 2 seperate occasions in the past and didnt find it helped at all.

I have learnt my lesson anyhow and wont ever be in this situation again, if I hadnt of been so worked up about what might of happened with the friend things would never of gone that far. Im an idiot who let my own insecurities get the better of me and in return turned into the sort of person ive always detested.