Separating - will this work?

[Iloveantiques]

My husband and I are separated but until now have remained living together for a number of reasons. We have one DD.

The situation isn't working but finances will really only allow for him to rent a room in a shared house or a small studio where there will be nowhere for him to have DD.

So I have this half baked idea that he rents somewhere BUT we share the care of our DD by sharing both properties. My days and nights with care I stay here with my DD and he lives away. His days and nights I live away. My DD doesn't have to be passed from pillar to post each week.

Am I completely barking to even consider this?

Yes. It wont work. Sorry, it's a lovely 'on paper' idea, but totally unworkable IRL.

How old is DD?

Could work short term, for a few months or so but very unlikely to longer term than that.

That's so unrealistic! Your still dealing with each other on a very regular basis, how will you all move on?

I'm presuming your dd is not of school age?

What if he meets someone else? Would you be happy to sleep in the bed (whether it's the new place or yours) where he has sex with his new partner?

Or if you meet someone -can you imagine asking them to shift from one bed to another, every single week, in order to make room for your X?

No it won't work. Do you own or rent the house you live in. Have you calculated how much child maintenance he is supposed to be paying you?

DD is 10.

As far as new partners are concerned I'd not though that far ahead. At this point neither of us would be in the market but I guess you can never say never.

I was thinking of it as a halfway house while we sorted out the finances so he could afford to rent something with 2 beds. We're in SW London and we won't get anywhere near enough from selling our current property to fund the purchase of two new 2 beds. I thought I would take over the mortgage and we'd come to an arrangement about selling up when DD has spread her wings at 18 or whenever. It is all very grown up and amicable and I have no worries from about that.

He works long hours, out of the house for 12+ hours and I'm also struggling with how we reconcile that with more than an EOW arrangement which both he and DD would want. This harebrained scheme works in that respect because I would continue with the after school care here at home until he got home from work.

It's all such a massive pain in the arse mess!