I'm depressed and seriously thinking about divorce.

[nelliepony]

Not sure what I'm hoping to get out of this never done this before - I've just been signed off work with depression due to relationship problems - DH seems to think it's Ok to spend every night in the pub until closing time and for me to be at home looking after dd age5 and ds age 3 , I'm waiting for a counsellor to contact me and I've been onto Al-anon to find a local meeting but I feel sick and scared, I've booked a free appointment with solicitor to find out the ins and outs of divorce as I'm not sure whether i want to go on with this relationship, drinking, tempers, depression, talk of suicide, having irate husband turn up as he's told his wife he fancies her, blame put on me and name calling. But I'm not sure I'm ready to inflict the pain on the children of telling them DH won't be living with us anymore - anyone got any suggestions?

that's an awfully tricky situation.
can i just ask - is your DH ever violent towards you? either physically or vocally? how is he with the children? does he work?
not that i'm an expert, but sometimes kids can be better off out of a situation than in it. sometimes, staying in a bad relationship does more harm than good.
not sure if this helps much. xxx

sorry for hijack. what's a dryad?

a tree spirit. only i'm an urban one, there aren't too many trees round where i live. not sure why i'm grinning about it though...

i see. thanks.

Are you on AD's at the moment. Was just a thought but i would wait until they are working if you are, before you make any decisions.

As urbandryad said - it can be worse staying in a bad relationship, so don't think that you will be inflicting pain on your dc by telling them that you are splitting up.

Sending you hugsxxxxxxxxxxxx

My DH left his previous marriage when his children were about 3 and 7 and they coped remarkably well, as far as he and I have ever been able to tell. I think young children are remarkably adaptable and divorce sadly seems to be prevalent these days.

Conversely, my parents have been talking about divorce for the last 16 years and only just now getting on with it. Agree that the arguments and dysfunctionality that comes from an unhappy marriage can be far worse on the children involved... I would like to think that DH's children are happier as a result of being in a healthy environment.