Not sure if this is the best place to post, but here goes ...
I have a family member who often seems to jump to conclusions about how the rest of us are treating and talking about her and her husband and kids, and seems to have developed a real chip about everyone looking down on them and not caring about them etc.
It all came to a head last week when we had a conversation and I (so I am told) implied awful things about her and her DH, which is part of the way I always act and so on. I only found out about this when she went cold on me and I asked someone else what was going on. When I spoke to her about it, she told me that I'd implied some unpleasant things, and that her and her DH were both unhappy with me. I don't think she would have talked to me about it at all if I hadn't brought it up.
Thing is, I didn't say anything, and nor do I think them either - I don't look down on her, and the things I did say were totally taken out of context and misunderstood (ie I said I thought my BIL and my DH were good at something, she thought I was saying that her DH wasn't if that makes sense)
I ended up apologizing that I'd said something to upset her because i didn't know what else to do to make things OK again, and while she's accepted my apology I now find myself frustrated and cross because I still haven't received any acknowledgement that she may have blown things out of proportion. It feels like she's determined to be the victim no matter what. And, it's almost impossible to talk to her about it, as she hates talking things through. Instead I get little snippets of information from other people about how upset she is about various things (or in one case reading about it on a forum) which is really tough and frustrating.
And now I don't know what to do to stop this happening again, and apparently have her DH upset at me for these things I apparently said to her about him! We're close family members so this makes for such an awkward and upsetting situation. Plus - I want to get on, I really do.
Any advice?