Just venting ��

[Fool4u]

It's all shit.. Background.. Married 18 years, been together nearly 30.. 3 kids, dd 14, ds 12, ds 7.. Usual teenage traumas with dd, they almost provide light relief.. ds7 is severely autistic. So tonight is Ds12's birthday.. Want to try & be normal so invite a few friends of his for a sleepover.. ds7 is ok to a point they're all used to him, but goes into a complete rage for no reason..he's extremely violent 3 hours later DH loses his temper & takes it out on me.. Grabs me around my face & throat.. He didn't hit me but it took all his self-restraint not to.. He left the house & sat in the car.. It's all calm now, ds7 eventually calmed down & went to bed with dh after they'd both apologised Just at the end of my tether. All of this happened with ds 12 & his friends in another room, but they've made comments about the autistic rage so now I have to apologise & justify myself to their parents.. Just had enough, but I can't accept DH's aggressive behaviour towards me,can I?

No its not good. I have no advice though, I'm sure you'll get told you have to leave him now. I hope you're ok

He grabbed you round your face and throat? That sounds terrifying. Are you ok, OP?

To answer your question, no, you can't accept it. What other aggression and violence have you endured?

And ((hugs)) for you

I understand the stress that comes with the kick-offs of an autistic child, I really do. But what you are describing from your husband is completely unacceptable, and I'm sure anyone would agree. Grabbing you round the throat could literally be fatal, and it's a serious assault.

You do need to call Women's Aid at the very least. It's not safe for you to be around him.

Thank you all. After getting to sleep about 3.30am it's all ok ish. He's apologised & we've had a good day at in-laws golden wedding party.. ds7 is fast asleep.. I think it was a one off reaction to a very stressful day x

If you think you are safe and there is no chance of it happening again then that's good. If not you need to see if you can get some support either as a couple or for him to deal with the feelings. Handling stress by lashing out is not right for anyone involved. At least you've talked it through here and had some advice. Look after yourself though.

Until the next one.

The problem with crossing a line is that it's easier to do the next time.

You need to work as a team.. its time for a good long heart to heart together. Next time he could really hurt you and doing it when there was other people's kids in the house as well as your own means he's not coping and that needs sorting out now.

there will be no next time.. If it happens again I will leave... Can't begin to describe all the underlying issues to this situation, ds & his special needs are the tip of the iceberg, but it's been good to vent so thank you all for the advice & compassion

I could start a thread on so many aspects of my so called life..