How to ensure I never go back?

[nogoingbacknow]

Posted on here about 6 months ago about trying to stay out of abusive relationship, unfortunately I fell back into it. However, have made some big changes in life, got some financial independence, started a Masters at uni and know that this time it is absolutely so important I stay well, well away from abusive asshole as I have let him f**k so many areas of my life up before, and I am not letting him do it anymore. Today is day 3 of no contact, normally I would be in real emotional turmoil by now - but I;m not - woohooooo!

Have deleted numbers, emails, blocked on facebook and all the rest of it. I do keep having weak moments when I almost give in, but so far have pulled myself together. For me when I feel like that I think of some of the worst things he has done to me and how I felt in that moment and it REALLY helps. Thought i would share for others in same boat, and ask for your tips on staying NC? I am lucky that I know he will never contact me as he is so used to me being pathetically weak and contacting him...

Sent text saying ' I miss so much about our relationship'/ He replied 'I know, I am feeling it too'

One text doesn't mean you've failed. It's a mistake, a set back, a minor blip. So treat it as such and go back to your plan to stay away from the 'abusive asshole' that has fucked up so many areas of your life already.... as you put it originally.

There must be a hundred things more interesting and more fun you can do than sit by your phone waiting for texts from an abusive asshole. Come on. What else could you be doing right now?

That's a shame, but it's done now. Don't compound it by getting drawn in. Just draw a line under it and move on.

It's not too late to re set yourself.

Imagine you were on a diet and losing well and you sneaked one choccie digestive but managed to stop at that. You wouldn't say your whole weight loss was ruined would you ?

Unless you are currently snuggled up on the sofa with Dickhead, in which case I can only conclude you are your own worst enemy.

Yep all deleted now so that line is drawn :( Going to eat dinner now which is the highlight of my evening yummy yum. Then study time and tv..... maybe not too interesting for some but i like it :)

There you go... progress! Line drawn, texts deleted, stuff to do. There will be other setbacks in future but the will get further and further apart, don't worry. If you treat each one as a blip and not use words like 'failure' you'll eventually find that whole months have gone by before you even think about him again.

Plan the rest of your week so that you have other things to look forward to. What's happening at the weekend, for example?

Well done for drawing that line again, stay strong.

I said study... think I meant browsing MN instead. Got good plans for weekend apart from tomorrow night, but willl be too knackered to worry about him by then :)

Self I read the start of your thread yesterday before you put link on here! I remember thinking oooh has she met my ex!! Stay strong

You too nogoingbacknow

It doesn't matter if you take a step back as long as you keep moving forward. I discovered this song on the empowering songs thread - Moving in the right direction.

Great song self. I'm afraid a bit of a fail again today. I started off asking something work related, then it went on. Hangs head in shame. Ah well. There is nothing that can be done now. Think if i reset my phone to factory settings it will totally wipe his number as nothing else seems to do it :( Small blip [again] but back on the wagon now. Normally I would be phoning by now and then he would come over... 3 weeks since i have seen him and i am definately glad about that!