I really need some advice and straight talking because I think my relationship is starting to go downhill. Met someone online 8 months ago, it's been very good almost all the time and he is nice and treats me well. I have fallen for him loads and he tells me he loves me. We have met eachothers families and all is good.
The problem is, perversely I seem to be getting more insecure as time goes on, I'm not sure if this is because I'm in love now and I'm scared or what. Firstly we had a few little arguments on holiday because I felt he was looking at other women in bikinis too much, I know I am the jealous type. Plus I seem to be really preoccupied with where the relationship is going, or not.
I would see him every day if it was up to me, I would like us to live together in the not too distant future but I really don't know how he feels about it. It's not something we've talked about and I don't want to be the one to broach the subject. If I did and he were to turn me down I think it would be the end for me because it would worry me deeply that he wasn't as committed
He seems quite happy not to see me a couple of nights a week although some of those I work late, but after 5 yrs living alone I hate coming home to an empty house now. I guess there's no real rush but as I'm approaching 50 equally I don't want to be wasting a lot of time on someone who may never want to move to that stage with me. I just worry he's so comfortable with his life as it is that he doesn't need or want to make changes
The other issue is I just seem so scared to say what I want and feel until I get upset then it all comes out a bit aggressively or emotionally. Then even after we have talked things through and supposedly resolved things I spend hours worrying I've wreaked the relationship. We've had a few words tonight and I'm in aright state thinking because I say what I feel or tell him if he's said something to upset me that I'm killing what we have