Partner buying birthday cards for ex wife?

[wishingwontwork]

We've been together two years, the other day it was his ex wife's birthday (they have an 18yo together) and I saw he'd bought her a birthday card, and inside he'd written "lots of love -name- xxxxxx"
I just found it a bit weird you'd write this in a card to an ex, or even buy one at all? They've been split for over 5 years.
Am I being oversensitive? Does anyone else do this with their exes?

should be pleased

I'm glad to read some of the responses on here as some of my friends think it is weird that my exW and I still exchange birthday and xmas cards. We might no longer love each other but we're still friendly and enjoy alot of the same things. Mind you, when she suggested going on holiday together I found an excuse not to.

I always send my ex-h a birthday card, as well as his lovely partner and her kids. We have been a long time divorced, I cant really remember the reasons why, but I do know that we are much better friends now than when we were married. I still consider him family, and his partner and her kids. It does not mean I want to be married to him. His partner is so much better for him than I was - she brings out the best in him where as I did not.

It took a while to get there but it makes life as a split family much better and richer. His partner is just as comfortable with me as I am with her - I could not have wished for a better step mum for my kids, particularly when my eldest was terminally ill. We all worked together when our son was ill, couldn't have managed without the love and support all round.

Do they have any children together? My ex just gave me a nice card (and a present which I wasn't expecting!), but we have two children so he has to get cards and pressies from them too. It would seem stranger if 'they' got me a card and he ignored me, and they would ask him why didn't you give Mummy a card?

Thinking about it though, most of my friends who have split amicably (even no to amincable for some) have managed to be nice to each other, converse politely when they bump into each other, and would send Xmas and birthday cards. It just makes life (especially for any children) so much easier and nicer all round.

Look at his other behavior and take it in context.

Do you feel ALL the time like he is completely committed to you?
Do you feel ALL the time like he does not care about her input on your lives beyond her role as Mum to his kids?

I say this because I was in a relationship with a man for 4 years, who had been divorced for three years when I met him. He was absolutely loving to me and made me feel like he was crazy about me, but in subtle ways I chose to ignore - he had not detached from his marriage.

Years later, I ended up with a broken heart when he finally admitted he still wanted to be married to her. At the time, I would have never believed it.

I also told myself it was lovely how respectful he was of his ex wife and this was one of the reasons I loved him so much.

As it turned out, I was second choice and did not even know it.

No that is weird...sorry but if he'd bought a card from both of you and you'd signed it without the love and kisses that'd be nice.

Iomega Maybe he'll do this when we live together, not sure that'd occur to him at this stage.

roundhousekick I'm so sorry this happened to you. Your experience is the exact scenario that I'm afraid of deep down. and the root of my insecurity. I need to work on this evidently!

My parents have been divorced for 12 years.

My father buys cards "for my wife" and adds a ^ex on the front. They get on exceptionally well. They shared 27 years together. They are friends.

There's nothing there. If your partner has a good relationship with his ex that's a nice thing. But I have great relationships with all my ex's (bar one) and find it weird not to be to be honest!