Parents evening and abusive ex-h

[coalscuttle]

Am I obliged to tell abusive ex-h about parents evening? Ds is yr 5, I have always been the one that does parents evening. Ex sees ds eow but is still unpleasant to me every opportunity he gets. He is v angry with me for divorcing him even though he has a new gf. I can't sit there at parents evening with him. Can I just not tell him if he doesn't ask? Or should I say to him he must make his own appt if he wants to talk to ds teacher?

I'd not tell him. Does he normally go to school stuff?

Tell the school that you aren't in contact and ask for them to notify him. He can make his own appointments if he has any concerns.

No. And he asked me to make sure ds has already done his homework before he has him for the weekend! I keep him updated via text on important things. He lives about an hour away, I can't see that him being there would be of any benefit to ds. My fear of him hasn't quite gone so I tie myself in knots about this kind of thing!

I don't tell mine. If he is interested he should contact the school and they will send him copies of the letters home and he can arrange to go to parents evening on his own. I told xh but he has never contacted the school so never knows when it is.

Tell him nothing. If he can't be arsed to supervise your child's homework one weekend in two then he doesn't deserve to be involved in any discussions or any decision-making. And that's not taking into account the previous abuse. He's lucky he doesn't see his son in a contact centre while your home address is unknown to him.

I informed my stbxh (who also never used to go to parents' evenings) that I was resigning as diary secretary and would no longer be informing him re school stuff. I think in your case if he's actively being nasty to you then you are not obliged to be as polite as I was. Just ignore. Good luck

If he was bothered he would have made contact with the school to explain the situation and asked for information to be sent to his address in addition to yours.

I've not been in such a circumstance as I've kept civil with my ex and we've always kept each other up to date on such matters.

Having said that alot of schools routinely send information to both parents once they know about a split. My sons high school does.

He is more than capable of calling the school at the start of the school year and asking when the parents evenings will be, and then arranging an appointment for himself. This is the answer I am keeping in reserve for my XH when he creates a hissy fuss at me not telling him about ours.

The DFE guidance is that schools have a responsibility to provide information to both parents if the NRP asks/provides an address, and can consider if they can offer separate appointments if a NRP asks. Unless you've got a court order saying differently whether or not you share information is up to you.

Thank you all, that's very helpful and reassuring! His new GF is a TA as well so I am presuming it must be easy for him to find some info on all this. No court orders either so I will not say anything to him.