Any teaching assistants here?!

[inconceivableme]

Not sure about where to post this but hopefully here is a logical place!
My sister is a primary teaching assistant. She lives a 3 hr drive away from me. I don't see her often and would like to see her more but finding the time is difficult. She works term time and can never take time off, ever, not even the odd day, during term time. Her summer break seems to get 'booked up' every year (all 6 weeks of it, barring maybe a 2 day visit to us/us to her) as do other school holidays. She is also rarely free at weekends due to being very involved in her local church (again, 95% of weekends are busy it seems).

I'm not a TA and I don't go to church so is it really true that you can never get time off in term time and that you can be so involved in church that you never have a weekend free? Or is my sister just not bothered about seeing us?

Teachers and TAs cannot- if they are employed full time- take random days off in term time.

Church is a voluntary involvement- she can do what she likes with that.

We can't take days off in term time except in emergencies or medical. Church I don't know about.

Have you broached the topic with her and said you would like to see more or her?

It does sound like excuses, I'm afraid because she can choose what to do with church, though if she is heavily involved I'd assume most Sundays are taken up- what exactly does she do with church? Does she mean she attends services or is she running charity things for them and helping with Sunday school etc?

I can see how her weekends disappear but there are still school holidays and she ought to be able to find one day at a weekend every 6 weeks perhaps.

Do you get on with her?

Ive no idea about the Church but my DH is a TA and he is not permitted to take time off term time. He had to take a days unpaid leave when we got married (booked Friday of half term and the school changed the half term dates!)

Cant you ask when her Church next has a big event on and offer to go down and stayand help with it?

I'm also a TA and no you cannot have time off unless v v exceptional circumstances.
The time she spends with her church though is her choice.

Its true TA can't be flexible about days off. But as a teacher we have great holidays not only in the summer but throughout the year. I keep touch with my family during term time but then during holidays we do big visits and l majorly catch up with everyone . Its a big family. When term time comes around l lay low again. My family know this so as soon as holidays come around they all emerge with invites visits etc. I am also involved in church and we are totally free to make our own arrangements so l commit to stuff during term time butkeep the holidays freer for our own holidays and catching up with everyone. She is making a very definite decision not to have much contact. Do you visit her? Does she call you? I have long chats on the phone with my sisters and we text random stuff as it occurs to us.

I've worked term time and been heavily involved in church. Church wise summer is usually very quiet as well (few events planned in because families are around) except for church holiday clubs (which she'd probably as a TA be asked to do). It is choice though. My church congregation seem to never take time to visit family which I do find quite strange.

I think she is just wrapped up in her own life and not that bothered about seeing you, sorry.

When something is important, then you MAKE the time.

True, her summer holidays probably get booked up fast. What about half term? Easter? Bank holidays?

If she wanted to, she could still be involved with the church, but also take time to see you. She just would prefer to be helping at the church than seeing you.

Sorry that sounds harsh, but it's the truth!

Ask if you can spend new year's together. And what about Christmas?

It would be ironic if she was busy with the church at christmas. Christmas is yes, partly about religion, but also very much about family.

She's telling the truth about term time. I'm a teacher and I've been a teaching assistant. No days off in the UK during term time allowed!

You can't generally take time off in term time as a teaching assistant, my ex worked in eductation for a while and she's know schools that give maybe a half day or a day off per term for staff that run an after school club.

As for church things I guess ultimately it's your own choice, I know what if you commit to someting it can get carried away but I don't think any church would want family relationships to deteriorate due to church commitment.

Sounds like she is happily going about her life. Perhaps you should point out that you miss her and would like to spend alot more time with her. See what she says.

I have know people who moved away from family because they didn't want close contact.

There is a lot to do in church at christmas. Churches know that irregular attenders will turn up for carols, nativities, extra services. So they use a LOT of volunteering time.
I know a lot of families at church who prioritise church events. It's a side of faith that has put me off periodically.

Thanks for the replies. I think she maybe isn't v interested in visiting really, which is a shame all round. I church is an excuse and as someone said upthread, I'm not sure why, as a Christian, she doesn't put more emphasis on extended family. Makes me sad, as she's my only sibling and I'd love DS to have more of a relationship with her.